Monday, May 10, 2010


I 99% hate this tree.

The leaves at the base of the trunk have all been pulled out by the kids and have been piled back onto the basket. If the tree were to tip, all those leaves would come tumbling off. In fact, the tree tips often and I find myself picking up and reassembling those leaves over and over and over. I would just vacuum them up, but I've tried and it doesn't work. So I have to pick them up by hand.

The tree is covered in dust and aside from wiping down every individual leaf with a damp cloth, which there is NO possible way I will do, cleaning it seems like an impossibility.

The whole idea of a fake ficus is somewhat outdated. I'm pretty out of it when it comes to interior design, but I think my more "with it" friends will agree: No one does fake ficus anymore. If they did, they'd sell them at Costco.

There is really no good place for this eyesore to go in our home any more. After a major room reassignment (the front room became the dining room, the dining room became the office and the office became a guest bedroom) we don't have an inconspicuous corner in which to stash it.

So, why haven't I hauled this thing off to Goodwill, or probably more appropriately, left it on the curb for the garbage man to haul away?

A small part of the reason it's still here is because on a quiet afternoon in mid November, the kids love to play Christmas Tree. They decorate it with toilet paper garland and ornaments made from computer printer paper and copious amounts of masking tape. The kids spend hours playing and making presents for each other (wrapped in computer printer paper half a roll of masking tape).

The next day I'm left with a fine mess to pick up, but to have all three boys playing nicely with each other for 3 hours is almost worth the effort. Not to mention the wasted computer printer paper and masking tape.

The other reason that this tree is still here is that for some reason, Robert likes it. He is the tree's advocate and has saved it from doom many times.

When we made our major room reassignment 2 weeks ago, I moved this tree out of our formerly empty front room and into the temporarily empty guest room. Not having to look at that tree every day was a joy. I almost forgot that we even had it.

Which was why I noticed immediately when Robert moved the tree out of the guest room and back into the front room.

So today, when Robert gets home from work, it's possible that tree might be moved. Right out of the house. For good.

I'm just saying.


Erika said...

Yes, sometimes change is a very good thing! Maybe if you replace it with a nice houseplant on a stand or something it wouldn't feel like such a loss for him...when he can see the better alternative.

Angela!! said...

put it in the toy room!!

Afton said...

No! Not the toy room. I hate this tree.

Emily Laing said...

mine did not come back from the reception decorating in the's NOT coming back in.

I-Shüan Warr said...

I bet it could hide the antenna nicely.

Afton said...

I-Shuan, that's an interesting idea. But unfortunately two uglies do not make a cute. :)

a said...

Sounds like a great playroom tree!

a said...

Jef and I made two cutes (our two boys), so I am with I-Shuan! Two uglies do make a cute! Besides, I-Shuan can ice skating while holding up a child! She's my hero!

Debbie said...

So what happened? Am I going to see this tree in your house if I come over when I'm home in July?

Afton said...

the tree is out of here TODAY!