Candle Rules

Did you know there were rules to owning and lighting a candle? I had no idea until I found myself in the mall (I have no idea how I got there!) and wandered in to Yankee Candle Company.

First of all, a bit of advice to Yankee Candle: Could you pare down your scent selections a bit? How am I supposed to choose between Sparkling Vanilla, French Vanilla, Sugar Cane & Vanilla, Vanilla Cupcake and Christmas Cookie (which smells surprisingly vanilla-y)? It's vanilla for crying out loud! I need to save my ability to notice tiny to non-existent details for choosing between Hershey's Extra Dark chocolate bar and Hershey's Cacao Reserve chocolate bar.

Second, for a jar full of smelly wax, these candles are pretty pricey. Some marketing genius came up with the idea to sell the 14.5 ounce jar for $19.99 and the 22 ounce jar for $22.99. (That's 7 and a half ounces for just $3 more!) The medium sized jar will burn for up to 90 hours, which is just about as much time as I want to have the scent of Autumn Wreath penetrating my home. The large jar will burn up to 150 hours. To me, that is a commitment I just don't want to make. What if I get tired of smelling Autumn Wreath after 100 hours? I'm stuck with this scent for another 50 hours.

Yes, I know, I can put the candle on a high shelf somewhere and forget about it for a while, but I have better things to fill my shelves with than half used candles.

After finally deciding on a medium sized Autumn Wreath candle and purchasing it, enduring invasive questions (What's your phone number? Can I see your driver's license? Are you sure you don't want the large sized, 150 hour burning candle for just $3 more? What about a $10 "illuma-lid?") the cashier informed me she was including a list of tips and instructions for my candle.

Silly me, I thought I just held a match to the wick and let the candle do the rest. My 2 page "Complete Guide to Candle Use, Enjoyment and Safety," includes general candle rules (extinguish candles with care as wax may splatter. A candle quencher or snuffer is recommended), storage instructions (candles are sensitive to temperature! I had no idea.), and instructions on cleaning spilled wax (basically, if you spill the wax, you're screwed).

So, I'm off to trim my candle wick to 1/8 inch, make sure it's properly centered, find a safe, non flammable place to set it, carefully remove the glass lid (which is breakable), and burn the candle for one hour per inch of diameter. I'm a little intimidated, but I think I can handle it.