Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Fourteenth Day of Christmas Break


This morning, right before I woke up at 6:45 to get ready for church, I had this dream:


I was visiting a private Christian K-12 school with the particular intention of talking to someone about their policy of not checking out books about the Bible (in this case, Noah and the Ark) to Mormons. Their explanation was that Mormons were not Christians and therefore would not be allowed to check out books about the Bible. I arrived at the school and found a quiet place to sit down and work on my laptop while I waited to speak with someone in charge. I had to go to the bathroom and since there happened to be one in the corner of the room, and since I was the only one in the room, and since I knew I could go quickly, I decided to leave my laptop where it was and go. 


When I came out, I saw an androgynous sort of girl in a wheelchair waiting for the bathroom. I apologized for taking so much time (I was having a hard time getting my new size 8 jeans to button up, which is TOTALLY not the case in real life, yay!) and she said it was OK. I finished and when I returned to the spot where I'd left the computer, it was gone.  


I was infuriated! My computer had been stolen at a private Christian school in the few seconds I was in the bathroom. CHRISTIANS! How could they! They wouldn't even let me check out a book about Noah from their library on their high-faulting moral grounds and then one of them stole my beloved laptop. Who wasn't acting like a Christian now? (Soon to be me.)


I found a nice girl who said she'd take me from room to room to see if we could find out where my computer went. She did, but it was a joke. We were going to the kindergarten room and the 1st grade room. I knew they didn't take my laptop. I told her I'd seen a girl in a wheelchair and she got a look on her face like she knew just who I was talking about. She told me to wait in the hall and went into a room.


She was there for a long time and after a while I went in. There was a chubby boy who I then realized had been pretending to be the girl in a wheelchair earlier. "Give me my laptop." I demanded.  


"OK, alright, I've got it here somewhere." He said, and started looking for it around the room.


"Get it for me now!" I said. He was stalling, but why? I knew he had it.


"OK," he said again and started to circle the room around a big main table in the center. He reached down into one of the many backpacks and shoulder bags laying around and pulled out 2 small cards. I knew he was trying to distract me and appease me with something else and suddenly I knew what it was!


"If that is a coupon for a free smoothie at Jamba Juice," I said, "I'm going to punch you in the face! Give me my computer!" Chubby froze, then slowly lowered his hand, and the cards, back into the bag, hiding the cards from my sight. No sudden movements. "Give me my laptop! Give it to me now!" I said.


And then I woke up.

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