How To Be a Boy: Loading the Dishwasher

1. When your mom agrees to let you make French toast on the condition that you clean up afterward, do your best to ignore when your mom reminds you that "cleaning up" includes doing the dishes too.

2. Offer her some delicious French toast to distract her from the fact that you have not cleaned up your mess.

3. Make yourself scarce.

4. Reappear in the kitchen 1 minute before you are supposed to be at the bus stop for school.

5. If your mom has realized that you didn't clean up and reminds you now, quickly open the dishwasher, place the orange bowl and round cake pan in the dishwasher in any old way. It's helpful if she is looking away while you do this.

(Pay no attention to the neat way other dishes are arranged in the dishwasher and do not reflect on what the dishes looked like when you've unloaded clean dishes from the dishwasher in the past.)

6. Fast! Close the dishwasher and yell "goodbye" as you run to catch the bus.

7. Don't worry about having to re-do your silly excuse for loading the dishwasher. The bus will be long gone before your mom even notices.