The Jell-o Project: Tropical Congealed Salad

This one's a shout-out to my Midwest homies. Okay. My one Midwest homie--you know who you are. It's quite similar to  Valentine Crunch, which I understand is sometimes requested in lieu of cake at baby showers in places like Minnesota. So listen up, because I might have stumbled upon a perfect wedding cake replacement Jell-o. You never know.

First things first: the name of this salad must be changed. Tropical Congealed Salad is about the least appetizing name for a salad ever. It's like the title of a PhD thesis: dry, boring, unimaginative. A delicious fruity salad should have a more delicious and fruity name. Like Pina Colada Surprise Jell-o, or Hawaiian Delight Jell-o.

Next, I need to point out that the crust is truly amazing. It's an inspired combination of crushed pretzels, coconut, chopped macadamia nuts, butter and sugar. In fact, I could just eat the crust and call it good. It's the best part of the whole thing. But layer two is no also ran. Cream cheese, more sugar and a whole thing of Cool Whip! Delish.

It's the top layer I have issues with. I followed the recipe exactly, because I didn't feel confident enough to make my own changes. Also, I wanted to see what the original recipe tasted like before I began experimenting. Sort of like my control Jell-o. In case you don't want to look up the recipe yourself, the top layer of this Jell-o salad has, along with many tasty and wholesome ingredients, one of which is the questionable but acceptable cheddar cheese . . . a whole cup of mayonnaise.

I struggled with this ingredient, wondering if I should just leave it out or try and replace it with something else. Why, why, why does anyone put mayonnaise in Jell-o salad? Maybe if someone could explain it to me I wouldn't feel so underhanded and evil in using it.

Not to mention, serving it to guests. (Sorry guests, but the truth had to come out sometime. And it was good, wasn't it?)