Sunday, February 6, 2011

Blah

I'm not fishing for compliments. I just need to vent a few things. So if you feel the need to pat my ego, which I love by the way, don't leave a comment on this post. Just send chocolate.

I love to write. I'd write even if I was the only one reading it. But make no mistake, I really love when people read my writing. I love it even more when people pay me for my writing. I would love to be able to earn a nice income for our family by writing. For a freelance writer this means being self-motivated, self-starting and self-promoting. Blah.

You have to call people or e-mail people and submit things and ask them whether or not they want to buy the thing you wrote. This is never a fun thing for me. However, over the years, I've had pretty good luck with my minimal efforts. But minimal does not a "nice income" make. So for the last few months I've tried to step it up.

While I did sell one thing to the New Era in October (payable upon publication on an unknown day in the possible or not possible future) I've been turned down for the last three things I've submitted to another magazine. I've tried to find other homes for those articles with other local magazines, but so far have had no luck. Blah!

I should mention that when I shared these woes with a friend, she offered me a writing job for a music magazine. So, that's good. But still. Rejection hurts. Especially when I'm not sure what my next step should be, or sure if I even want to take it when there will probably be more rejection. I'm fairly confident that I have some writing talent, but how can I know for sure? (Please, not a cry for your kind words. I just need to get this out. It's therapy).

So, blah. That's how I feel. I'm currently in a writer's critique group where I'm getting feedback for my first ever attempt at middle grade fiction. I'm sure I'm embarrassing myself, but feel that if I don't at least plow through this, making my best effort, there will always be a big question mark in my life. I already have so many question marks. I don't want any more.

I'll keep taking the risk. My skin will keep getting thicker. I just wish I had a few more go-to's for writing opportunities.

Well, actually, I wish that my writing was in huge demand and I had so many opportunities that I had to tell people "no" instead of them telling me no. And then there would be a bidding war and everyone would be vying for my great writing skills and I'd just have to take a break from it all. So I'd take a twelve-day Mediterranean cruise with Robert where I'd find inspiration for a best-selling book during a night-time gondola ride in Venice.

And I'd get a treadmill desk so I could write and exercise at the same time.

6 comments:

Angela Hunter said...

i know you rock, you know you rock, it just takes time and persistence. I remember finding your sketches when I was a kid for ads you had created. I thought they were so amazing! What if you had pursued that? What if? Just keep plowing along. Doors will open in time, and if they don't, who cares, you're doing something you love.

a said...

Just remember, even the rejection letters start with "Dear Writer"
Keep treading on!

Karina said...

I love reading your blog and think you have definite writing talent & ability! Hang in there and something will give!

Allyson said...

A couple of pick-you-up quotes:

"Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up." Not sure who said it.

And this gem by Winston Churchill,“Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."

Keep going! You have a huge cheering squad pulling for you.

And when you go on your cruise, be sure to take along some of your cheerleaders!

claire said...

All you need is one good idea, like celebate vampires!

Marah said...

Girlfriend, you are super cool to keep it real. Last night I ended up venting about how there's no time for me anymore with all these little and not-so-little kids running around my house, instead of participating in the RS activity I was attending. So your vent kind of sounds familiar, like you have a plan and you keep going with the plan, but every once in a while, it's just frustrating and it feels good to vent. I felt better afterward, and I hope you do, too. And I hope you know that your talent is evident to anyone who reads your writing.