And they did!
The pumpkins were scooped and carved. I don't know how well the job was done, but it was good enough. I gave the boys safety tools and laid out big plastic garbage bags and they went to work. Except Ethan had to wear latex gloves and ended up having Jonah help him so he didn't have to get his hands dirty.
The big bin of costumes upstairs was pulled out (not by me) and rifled through until costumes of days gone by were pulled out and tried on and adjusted and used.
I showed Ethan where the candy thermometer was and he made taffy. Although I did end up pulling most of it, and cutting it into bits and wrapping with with waxed paper. It turned out great. Just like taffy at the beach, except we only had one flavor: peppermint.
Isaac and Jonah took turns opening the door and handing out candy. I didn't see one trick or treater all night. It was surprisingly enjoyable.
And thanks to a vigilant Sunday School teacher who showed the kids, "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" in church, Ethan came up with the great idea to hand out rocks along with candy to some of his friends. Most people I told this to were confused and alarmed. "Tricks!" I reminded them. "Don't forget it's tricks OR treat."
And no, we didn't get toilet papered later on.
There are no pictures to post of the DIY Halloween because I was too busy being lazy and none of the kids thought to get the camera out. I did worry that maybe I was too lazy about this seemingly important holiday. I've been reassured, however, that lazy moms make self-reliant kids.
I would finish this post with a rallying cry to lazy moms everywhere who are in reality doing their kids a huge service, but that just seems to go against the lazy mom modus operandi. So instead, I'm going upstairs to read a book.