From the "Are You Kidding Me" File

Last summer I dropped 50 bucks at the local fireworks stand for a handful of things to blow up. I thought I was a pretty shrewd shopper because I bought the multi-pack instead of going a la carte. "A $39 Savings!" it said, right on the package. And I believed them.

Then I went to Costco and saw people pushing shopping carts with Mini Cooper-sized packages of fireworks up to the cash register. I was still feeling pretty good about my savvy firework shopping until I realized their Mini Cooper-sized firework pack cost one cent less than my laptop computer-sized pack.

This year, I would not make the same error. I went directly to Costco and found the $49.99 pack of fireworks. It was huge. Bigger than any firework package I'd ever seen in my entire life. It will probably take us 3 nights just to blow the whole thing up.

The kids will be thrilled, I thought, and I wondered where they'd gotten off to. I found them on the end of the aisle looking at an even bigger package of fireworks for $79.99. "Can we get this one?" they asked.

Even if the package hadn't been too big to fit in the back of the car, there is no way I would have purchased it. "Look at what we're getting," I said, gesturing excitedly to my heavily laden shopping cart. The end of the of the package extended over the back of the cart and the kids studied it for all of 7 seconds.

"That's all?" they said. "There aren't even any smoke bombs."