Friday, June 13, 2008

Perfectly Normal, Right?

It’s perfectly normal to have internal conversations with one’s self, isn’t it? This is a conversation I had with myself this morning at 6am:

Hey, the sun is shining. I should get up and go for a walk

Yes, definitely. This morning would be a great morning for a walk.

You should get up right now and get out there. You could be back by 6:30. Think of how much you’d get done this morning.


You could get up now, right now. Throw on your clothes. You could be out the door in 2 minutes. I bet you’d be back before Robert woke up.


Come on. At least get up to pee for crying out loud.


Good, now just put on your exercise clothes.

Yeah see, I don’t think I need to prove anything by walking at 6am. 6:30 will be just fine. Who am I trying to impress anyway? I can still get plenty done this morning. I’ll be back by 7. The kids aren’t even awake before 7.

You better not fall back asleep.

Of course not. I’m just going to lay here for like, 20 minutes, tops!

You know, I bet when you do get out of bed to go for a walk, you could get away with wearing your Capri sweatpants. It seems really nice outside.

Oh, definitely.

And I bet your hair is finally long enough that it will all fit in a pony tail. I bet it will look really cute.


You will feel so good. You know how you always feel good after a brisk morning walk and a nice stretch.

Uh huh.

Ooh, you will get to hear your new playlist on your iPod. That will be nice.

Yes, Go-Go’s! I love the Go-Go’s.

You are so old.

Shut up. I’ve got other cool songs on there too.

I know, you are very cool.

Thank you.

Hey, it’s 6:15. If you get up now, you could be out the door by 6:20.

And your point is…

Come on, it’s a beautiful day. You have no excuse. This is exactly the kind of day you have been waiting for. Morning exercise just really sets the tone for your day. I bet it is gorgeous outside. You can breathe in fresh air, think big thoughts, listen to a bit of music, and get your heart rate going.


Just swing your legs out of bed…swing, suh-WING!

Fine, I’m going.

Good job!

I’m not going to jog though.

Of course you’re not. No one expects you to jog.

Not even to that Eric Clapton song.

No, not that song.

But it’s got kazoos, I can’t NOT jog to kazoos

Sure you can, people do it all the time.

It’s downhill. I’ll just jog downhill.

Listen, I didn’t get you out of bed to have you over-exert yourself like this. You are never going to want to get up early and go for a walk again.

Jogging is not over-exerting myself. And I said, I’m just jogging the downhill part. Then it’s straight to speed walking, I promise. Kazoos!

Your knees are going to hurt. You should have taken Advil before you left.

Leave me alone, I’ll be fine…and I’ll take some Advil when I get home.

Wow, would you look at that! You’ve only been out for 15 minutes and you’re over half way home. Maybe you should take a longer route back.


What about this way?

(I visualize an alternative route) Hey, that could work. That was pretty cool. It’s like my own GPS system.

More like On-Star, wouldn’t you say?

Yes! On-Star. Wow, I have my own On-Star. Angela is going to be out of a job.

Well, you’ve been having a conversation with yourself all morning. I don’t think Angela will be out of a job any time soon.



Betty Grace said...

This is very similar to the conversation I have with myself every morning about getting up in time to walk to work. I usually lose. :)

What's Angela's job?

Afton said...

Angela is my "On-Star". When ever I am on the road and need someone to find a restaurant, or directions for a short cut home, or a weather forecast or the closest place to purchase fuzzy dice, she's my go-to On-Star service. I'd probably call her if I got a flat tire too and have her send someone to help.

Heather said...

That's great! :) I can totally identify with this--I don't know why, but now that I'm not working, it's hard for me to get up at 7 or 8, let alone 6! :) Thanks for making all of us feel better.