Today I picked up a package of my favorite Valentine candy at Target: conversation hearts. The chalky sweetness makes these candies good, but the messages make them great.
I'll admit to using them as a means to predict the future when I was younger. I'd think of my current crush and reach in and grab a heart. The message always indicated what I was sure would happen. And if I didn't like the answer, I could just reach in and grab another heart till I got the answer I wanted. (Similar to the scene with George Michael in Arrested Development, season one, episode title: Marta Complex. It was really funny. Trust me.)
However, when I tasted my first conversation heart right out of the bag (which, by the way, said "tweet me.") the texture was spot on, but the taste was awful. It was tart and disgusting. I checked the bag to see if I'd purchased a bag of sour hearts on accident.
Same old conversation hearts, all new flavors. I'd just enjoyed blue raspberry. Green is now green apple and pink is strawberry. There is no white anymore, which I know many people didn't care for, but I always liked it. In the old days. Before they changed EVERYTHING!
The flavors are one change that I just can't live with. The phrases might be another. I realize the conversation heart people need to stay current so from time to time they throw a trendy message or two on their hearts. I'll never forget the very cool "fax me" from the 80's.
But some of these messages seem a little too casual.
What happened to the more romantic and formal, "be mine" and "say yes?"
And I'm sorry, but "marry me" is just too forward a message for conversation hearts. Imagine the trouble one could get in to with that one!