Thursday, January 14, 2010

How to Be a Boy: Finding Your Favorite Shirt

(Dedicated to Andrea, for her patience and mad canning skills.)

It's your favorite camouflage-dinosaur shirt that is two sizes too small and has ripped off cuffs, and you can't find it anywhere. You've worn it twice this week and need to wear it again tomorrow. It's not on the floor where you left it last night. What do you do?

1. Check your dresser drawer. Pull out every clean, folded shirt that is NOT your camouflage-dinosaur shirt and throw it on the floor.

2. Next, check your laundry basket--it's that thing in the closet your mom always seems to be blabbing about. Go ahead and dump it out into a neat pile on the floor. Dig through the pile of dirty clothes doggy-style, quickly scattering everything all over the room and mixing it with the clean stuff.

3. Yell for Mom. Do not try and find her; just keep yelling until she answers that she's washed your favorite camouflage-dinosaur shirt and that it's in the dryer.

4. Go to the dryer. Open it. Pull all the clothes out of the dryer and onto the floor until you see your camouflage-dinosaur shirt that is two sizes too small with the ripped off cuffs.

5. Put the shirt on, grab your backpack and make run for the bus stop before your mom sees your bedroom and/or the laundry room.


e. said...

Do we have the same son? How does he get between my dryer and yours so quickly?

a said...


Allyson said...

Even girls do this sometimes. You forgot the part about the stuff that gets thrown out of the dryer mixing in with dirty stuff that is on the floor waiting to be washed. That's what happens here and then I have to re-wash everything again.

Erika said...

Once again, you've hit it on the nail!

Debbie said...

Oh No!!! So you spent the entire day doing laundry? Because something tells me if you tried to punish him by putting the clean and dirty clothes back in his room so he had to wear both he wouldn't care! ;)