Monday, February 11, 2008

That Really Ticks Me Off

I think I’m pretty easy going. I often let other drivers get in ahead of me when merging. I think I’m also pretty good about giving people the benefit of the doubt when they do something stupid.

Yesterday Jonah spit at Ethan in the car…the car I spent the better part of Saturday cleaning for our upcoming trip to Disneyland. I did a little freak out, but overall, accepted Jonah’s excuse that he didn’t know there was a rule about not spitting at your brother in the car. (I was literally dumbfounded by his logic).

But there is something that makes me rage with anger—silent, internalized, passive aggressive anger. The thing that drives me insane is just two, four-letter words. These two words assault me as I stand in line at the grocery store. The words, by themselves, are not stupid, vulgar or annoying, but when put together they make me want to scream. The words are:

Baby Bump.


It’s hard to put a finger on exactly what gets me about the phrase. It turns a woman’s pregnancy into another body part. Like a zit or cottage cheese thighs or a bad haircut, Celebrity Jane now has a baby bump!

More than that, I hate that if one of these celebrities has anything other than a perfectly flat, NAY, concave stomach, she’s accused of having a “baby bump.” But because it’s called a “Baby Bump,” and that sounds so cute, these magazines can get away with being insensitive clods.

What is it about these magazines gives them the right to point out every bodily change or anomaly in people who have careers in entertainment. And what is it about the general public that makes them care?

Call it a pregnancy, or say “she’s expecting.” “A bun in the oven” would even be preferable to “baby bump,” although I can easily see how that phrase might have been equally annoying when it was coined back in the 50’s.

This recent euphemism is almost as bad as when cinnamon rolls turned into “sticky buns” back in the 90’s. Ugh, give me a break! “Cinnamon roll” sounds WAY more appetizing than “sticky bun.” On the other hand, “sticky bun” would be right at home as a headline on one of those grocery store rags: Star's Bad Bikini Bods--cottage cheese thighs, botched boob jobs and sticky buns.


Catherine said...

I love your new colors.

The word that makes me gag is playdate. I hate playdate. I like having playdates but I hate the word.

Afton said...

Playdate is so 80's, overscheduled, quality-time- speak. It is annoying, now that you mention it. I use the word only because I don't really know what else to call that thing you do when you schedule a time for a kid to come over and play.

Anna said...

can't you just call it "having a friend over"? I never had a playdate, nor did I know what a playdate was until I read "the Nanny Diaries" after I had finished being a nanny for 10 months.

Angela said...

baby bump.
baby bump.
baby bump.

BTW...your blog looks AMAZING! I love all the changes you've made recently. I could never figure out how to do that. You are so clever.

claire said...

Have you noticed also that the only topic on the cover of celebrity magazines now is babies? Suddenly everybody decided to have a baby? Like its the latest accessory? I guess I shouldn't complain since I may be inadvertently benefiting from this.