Thursday, November 29, 2012

Zen And the Art of Shooting Lasers Out of Your Eyes

I'd like to think that most of the time I'm a pretty zen mom.

I didn't totally freak out when I caught my teen trying to make a super powered water gun out of the leaf blower and a bucket of water.

No one compliments my dinner? Water off a duck's back.

And when I see that someone has tracked mud across a clean floor, I take a deep breath and count to three before taking a shoe print analysis  and recalling the offender for clean up duty.

One* thing, however, makes me so insane, I'm pretty sure that if I really focused, I could shoot searing laser beams out of my mad, mad eyes.

All anyone has to do to bring me to this state of psychosis is to reply to my request for help cleaning up, putting something away, or being responsible for a basic household chore with the following phrase:

"But I didn't do it."

Because I didn't get mud all over those pants, but I just washed them and folded them anyway.

And I didn't eat lasagna off that plate, but I just put it in the dishwasher anyway.

I certainly didn't pee on the floor and leave those skid marks in the toilet, but I just wiped, scoured, scrubbed and sanitized the floor and toilet anyway.

I have no tolerance for the "I didn't do it" excuse and am frankly surprised my kids have tried using it more than once.

I think I need to work on my laser beam eyes.

*Okay, two things.  I also pretty much go ballistic if someone spills lemonade on the floor.

1 comment:

I-Shüan Warr said...

(Yay! A new post!)

I don't know why my kids keep using that one either! I need to work on the lasers out of the eyes too. I thought making them listen to my "Well, I didn't __ or ___ or __ but I still have to ___ and ___ and ___" speech would make them think twice, but no. After all, they didn't do it. :-)