Friday, February 24, 2012

Things I Will Never Do Again

Listen to a Time Share Presentation - No helicopter ride, gift card for $100, snorkel excursion, or fruit basket is worth the time I will spend being told I'm an idiot for not jumping on your fabulous offer to vacation for one week a year for the rest of my life. Once was enough to know that your 90 minutes turns into my three, miserably long hours. And guess what. Your fraction of a hotel room is way more expensive than what I could find on Travelocity. Word.

Sell Something on Ebay - My first foray into this money-making endeavor was 2 weeks ago. It was awkward and messy and more work that it was worth. It reminded me why I don't extreme coupon. I'll stick to Craigslist, thank you very much. Besides, I've probably got some damning feedback along the lines of "cranky old lady, very unpleasant to work with. Might not be playing with a full deck."

Remodel a Bathroom Without Discussing it First - All's well that ends well. I'll just consult before I rip up flooring next time.

Try to Extreme Coupon - Just not worth it for me. Might be worth it for you. I'd rather just not buy a bunch of stuff even if it is free. I realize this will make it harder for me to donate to food drives and women's shelters and missionaries and college students. Additionally, I realize that when the bomb drops, I will not have a year's supply of BBQ sauce. I'll just have to live with that.

Assume You aren't Awesome - I've come across too many people in my life who have shattered my incorrect, narrow-minded first impressions. There are some great women and men out there doing great things in their own small ways, in their own small corners of this world. I'm so glad to know so many of you. We may be different in some ways, or the same in others, but you have taught me that people are good. No, not good. Awesome. Thank you.

Climb up on a Roof - I am afraid of heights. As it turns out, I'm also afraid of slants. I will always be afraid of heights and slants. Besides, there is no good reason to go on a roof. That's right. Not even Christmas.

Read a Jodi Picoult Book - If I want to feel sick to my stomach over impossible, heartwrenching decisions I've got plenty of friends who are going through real life challenges I can talk to. I don't need any more overwhelming heartache in my life, thank you very much.

Click this link - And while we're at it, if you post a link to a video on Facebook, or send me a link via email, and preface it with any version of the following: A must watch, tear-jerker, get your box of tissues ready, you've never seen anything so emotionally draining in your whole life--I will not be clicking on it. I cry easily. I cry at OnStar commercials (It's like a direct link to a guardian angel people!) Why would I watch something specifically to make me cry?

Did I cover it all? Probably not. What are some things you will never do again?

1 comment:

Chelsea said...

I cry ridiculously easy too. It is embarrassing and I don't like it. Something I won't do again is bring my camera to Stoller middle school to take pictures on the first day of school. I do it every year for all of my kids, didn't think anything of it. It was the first day of 6th grade! First day of middle school! This is something to celebrate! Found out too late after the fact (and the realization started DURING the fact), middle school first day of school pictures (mom on premises in general on first day of school) totally unacceptable.