One Mom's Musings

Boxes: What I Want My Boys To Know About Girls*

2012-02-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

If my boys could sit and listen for more than 30 seconds, if they could understand the symbols in a beautifully crafted metaphor, if they could think about girls as other human beings instead of carriers of the deadly cootie virus, this is what I would tell them:

Girls are like boxes. They come in all shapes and sizes and there is value in every single one.

Some boxes are plain to look at while others are beautiful, flashy and exciting.

However, all boxes have one thing in common: there is always something on the inside you can't see. Your job is to find out what's inside the box. If you judge a box purely on what it looks like on the outside, you will have missed the most important part of the whole box.

Find out what's inside the box by being friendly with the box. You can watch the box in different situations. You can do things with the box like eat lunch, play sports, discuss string theory and/or the exact moment Elizabeth Bennet falls for Mr. Darcy.

With some boxes, you will quickly learn what's inside, while others may take some time.

Sometimes you might think you know exactly what's inside a box without even looking. But look anyway. The contents of the box might be a pleasant surprise.

Plain boxes sometimes contain sweet surprises . . .

. . . or something precious.

Some boxes are filled with fluff. Or maybe something soft and comfortable, useful and hardworking.

And sometimes, disappointingly, boxes are filled with things that aren't pretty at all. But don't judge these boxes harshly. There could be a good reason why a box is filled with dirt. Often it just needs time before a seed inside becomes a beautiful flower. So check back every once in a while, and be glad there are so many different boxes in your life.

* What I want girls to know about my boys.**

** Also, what people should know about people.

How to Be a boy: New Clothes

2012-02-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

If you are a boy, do not, under any circumstances, go clothes shopping with your mom. In fact, pay no attention to your pants with rips in the knees and plenty of flood clearance. They're comfortable. Who cares what they look like.

So, when you come home from school and notice two new pairs of pants on your bed, do not acknowledge them. Later, when your mom asks you if you saw the pants, do not commit. You aren't sure. You can't remember. You'll go up and see in a little bit. As soon as you finish playing your game.

Let your mom ask you three more times if you've tried on the pants yet. But whatever you do, do not try on the pants.

At 10pm, your mom will head for bed. Act like you're listening when she begs you not to rip off the tags before trying the pants on, and nod when she asks you to tell her how they fit. Do not try the pants on. Do not move the pants off the bed.

Until it's time for you to get in bed. Then, wad the pants up and throw them into the corner of your room.

Tomorrow, when you get up. Put on your old pants with the rip and two inches of flood clearance.

It is raining, after all.

For more on how to be a boy:
How to extinguish a candle
How to eat popcorn
How to build a blanket fort
How to find your shirt
How to wait in line
How to Butter your bagel

Seven Wonders of My Life (So Far)

2012-01-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

This last week the sun experienced spectacular, unprecedented radiation storms. At least we were told they were unprecedented. I'm going to have to take "their" word for it. These radiation storms resulted in stunning displays of northern lights in the northern latitudes. And that reminded me of seeing the northern lights firsthand when I lived in Alaska. And remembering what an awe inspiring experience that was made me remember the seven coolest things I've seen.

Today, as I begin my 44th year on this earth, I'd like to share them with you. This list is not static. I hope that things will get pushed off the list as my mind continues to be blown. But for now, this is my list.

Childbirth - I don't care how many biology lessons I had on mitosis and human reproduction. I could have read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" 20 times and nothing could have prepared me for the sheer surprise of having a whole other person come out of me. Yes, I felt the kicks, saw the ultra sound pictures and understood everything logically. But my first thoughts after hearing my son cry for the first time were of disbelief. I am pretty certain I uttered the word, "really?" several times.

Northern Lights - No photo can do the northern lights justice. That is why I was so delighted and overwhelmed to see them first hand. What the picture doesn't show is how the northern lights move, like a curtain fluttered by a slight breeze. And they make a soft popping noise too--at least that's how I remember them. I never saw red northern lights--only green. But in Alaska, it was understood that when the northern lights came out, you called your neighbors so they could go outside to see, regardless of time of day. Gratefully, I was once on the receiving end of one such call at 2am.

Bald Eagles, Homer, Alaska - I did not take this picture, but easily could have if I'd had a better camera in 1990. This is a beach in Homer, Alaska where a woman fed bald eagles during the winter. There were signs posted that kept people back a certain distance and most everyone respected it. To see this many bald eagles in one place was surreal. (p.s. I've just learned that Jean Keene, the bald eagle lady, died in 2009 and now feeding eagles is prohibited in Homer city limits.)

Humpback Whale, Alaska - We were fishing for halibut and a humpback whale appeared and got closer and closer to our boat. It was so close I could hear the squeak and hiss from his blowhole. I believe it even swam right under the boat.

Beluga Whales, Kenai, Alaska - We were driving over the Kenai River when I noticed the river full of white caps and a bunch of people stopped, and watching. Once I got out, I could plainly see, it wasn't white caps on the river, but beluga whales swimming up river, no doubt following some fish. There must have been 20 or 30 whales that day and I stood there, not believing what I was seeing. Truly spectacular.

M-13 - This made my list because I couldn't find a satisfactory picture of freezing fog. But the more I think about this globular star cluster, I realize how mind blowing it is that I can see something 25,100 light years away. But most incredible, is the feeling I get when I remember Robert showing it to me through a telescope. Then I realize what a wonder it is to be married to such a magnificent man. He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.

Orca Whales, San Juan Island - I was able to see Orcas several times while living on San Juan Island, but my favorite time was the day I went to Deadman Cove with Ethan and Jonah, just to let them play and throw rocks into the sea and do whatever else they could do to work off a little energy. I was sitting on the beach, just thinking of how fun it would be to see Orcas. We'd lived there 5 months and hadn't seen one yet. And then, they just started swimming by, like they heard my wish. There must have been at least 8. Of course this orca sighting comes in a very close second.

In conclusion, I'd like to thank my computer's thesaurus for providing me lots of alternative words for "amazing." I hope that one day my seven wonders will include this, this, and this.

Mediocre Couponing

2012-01-19T21:45:00.000-08:00

This is how I do coupons: The JoAnn's flyer comes in the mail. I remove the coupon and set it in the special Coupon Place. The next day I go to JoAnn's and buy a lot of stuff. At the checkout, however, I realize I've left the coupon at home.

Or . . .

At the checkout, I realize I brought the coupon, but it's expired.

Or . . .

At the checkout, I bring the right coupon, but it works on everything except the thing I'm buying.

I am just unlucky in couponing.

Until two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago my newly converted extreme-couponing sister made ardent attempts at bringing me into the couponing fold. "Go to Walgreens," she said. "Buy 8 boxes of Granola Thins in two transactions, 4 boxes each transaction. Use the coupon in the store circular. Receive two coupons for $3 off your next visit. Enjoy eating Granola Thins for the next two months."

I figured I could go to Walgreens. It's a mile from my house. I followed her directions, used a $5 rewards certificate, and called from the car, thrilled, to tell her I'd just paid only 50 cents per box of Granola Thins. I was super excited. Extreme couponing was fun!

"Here's what you do next," she said the following week. "Go to Walgreens and use your Monopoly Money (that's what the insiders call those $3 coupons) to buy Diet Protien Bars."

"But I don't want Diet Protien Bars." I said. "I'm out of Comet. Can't I get some of that?"

But Comet didn't get me Monopoly Money, I'd have to get the Diet Protien Bars if I wanted more Monopoly Money.

So I passed, saving the Monopoly Money for another purchase. Maybe next week Comet would be on sale.

A few days later I got my next assignment. "Go to Walgreens," (I was getting good at this!) "buy 8 bags of Chex Mix in two separate transactions with coupons you print off the internet."

After getting special directions for how to print coupons off the internet (because you have to hit the back button if you want two) I headed over to Walgreens, grabbed my 8 bags, flipped through the in-store coupon booklet to the appropriate page, and headed to the check out. I told the cashier I'd like to do two separate transactions.

She huffed. HUFFED!

"You can't get more than four when things are on sale," she said as a couple more people got in line behind me.

"Okay, well, I don't want to break the rules. I'll just get four."

"No. That's okay," she said, her words saying one thing, but her eye roll saying another. "I'll go ask the manager."

Another person got in line as the cashier made her way over to the Valentine's aisle and said loud enough for everyone to hear, "This lady wants to buy eight bags of Chex Mix, but they're on sale. Do we have enough to sell her eight?" The manager said something I couldn't hear, because he was talking at regular volume. "Okay, I just wanted to make sure," she said as she took her sweet time coming back.

By the time she'd returned to the cash register, two more people at joined the line. "He says you can do it, but you're not supposed to buy this many when an item is on sale. We need to have enough for everyone who wants to buy some."

She began scanning the bags, but stopped to direct someone to the cosmetic counter for a return. She scanned bag number three, but paused to answer the phone. She scanned bag number four and then five.

"Wait. I wanted to do it in two transactions" I said.

See, the only way to get two, $2 Monopoly Money things was to do two transactions of four bags each. Otherwise I would just get one, $2 Monopoly Money thing. That's why I'd asked for two transactions.

Another huff. "I just asked the manager if we could do this and he said yes. It's okay for you to get eight bags in one transaction." Her look said, what's the problem now?

I said nothing, mindful of the line of people behind me. I didn't want to find out how six, home-printed coupons would fluster her, so I kept them deep in my purse. Just get me out of this store, I thought. I don't even like Chex Mix.

Feeling completely humiliated, I figured I'd wait a few days until I'd regained my courage, use my now $10 in Monopoly Money on something useful and call my foray into extreme couponing finis.

But before I could do that, $6 of my Monopoly Money had expired.

So today I went to Walgreens and spent my remaining $4 of Monopoly Money on a diet Dr. Pepper and a box of Cheez-Its.

I'll leave extreme couponing to the professionals.

I Can Quit Any Time

2012-01-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

I remember mentioning that I would give up Pinterest in 2012, and I will. Just not yet. I'm having too much fun seeing all the interesting, brilliant and yes, sometimes crazy things people do. Here are a few things I've tried recently and my take on the outcome.

Before I admit that I tried putting a sock in my hair to create a full, fabulous-looking bun, I should mention that I have pretty serious hair insecurity. The thought of having a full, fabulous-looking bun on the back of my head was too much to resist. This website had pictures of each step, but I found a six-minute you-tube video to make sure I understood everything completely. The result: even greater hair insecurity which will require a 2 week emotional healing period before I try this again.

Ranch House Crock-pot Pork Chops - Win! The kids liked it, I liked it. The best part? Three ingredients. (Not including the mashed potatoes, which had like a cup of parmesan cheese in them. So they were awesome.)

My friend Carole's blog, Cupcake Theory, is filled with quick, easy, super-delicious recipes and this was one of them. Marshmallow popcorn. It's like making Rice Crispy treats, except with popcorn. (And a cup of brown sugar. Yum!)

I followed the suggestions from this gal to take what I think were some of the best Christmas morning pictures in a long time. See for yourself. I don't have a DSLR, but I figured out how to adjust the settings on my little point-and-shoot to get a pretty great result.

I'm not quite happy with the way this look turned out. I bought the various pieces from the Gap, Fred Meyer and Target. Someone asked me if the shoes were slippers, which wasn't the feedback I was looking for. The outfit looks much better on the invisible model than it did on me. However, I've been able to use the separate parts of this outfit in other ensembles, so it's all good.

Luckily I happened to have three bananas in the freezer when I got the hankering for this banana cake. (The fourth banana was on the counter). It's probably my lack of experience with cakes that don't come in a box, but I found this cake to be a tad dry. Also, I forgot to put the walnuts on top, which was a-okay with my kids. Will probably just make banana bread next time.

These little yummies are sitting on the counter as I speak. The kids say they just taste like chocolate chip cookies, but their palates are unrefined, so you can't trust what they say. There is a distinct, yet not overpowering Oreo taste that sets these cookies apart from regular chocolate chip. It helps if you don't crush the Oreos to oblivion so there are plenty of big chunks. The only downside is they do require buying a bag of Oreo cookies. And you will have left over Oreos, which is not a good thing. Mostly because something I call Oreo gluttony. I'm fairly certain there is an addictive chemical in Oreos that make you crave them fortnightly.

I need to quit Pinterest. But how can justify quitting I when I'm clearly getting so many great ideas? Maybe they have pin on how to be more productive and stop wasting time on Pinterest?

I better go check.

Dinner: Don't Throw a Fit

2012-01-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

I'm organized because I'm lazy. In order to achieve the lazy person's ultimate goal--free time--I need to be efficient and quick about everything I do. The LEGOS are sorted by color, my pantry is filled with neatly stacked and filled storage containers, I know exactly what is in my fridge at all times, and I've even reached laundry Nirvana.

But please, please, don't ask me what's for dinner.

My mind draws a blank. I can't think of a single thing to make. Not one person in the family every has any helpful suggestions, and suddenly I'm making my third trip to the grocery store in one day. It's enough to make anyone hate, hate, hate making dinner.

But, thanks to Samurai Mom and Pinterest, I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel. First, the ideas that didn't work.

A clothespin for every day of the week, cute scrapbook paper background, little envelopes to hold the names of main dishes and Voila! dinner is organized. I like keeping track of the meals for a week, and I like having a list of go-to meals, but this is a little too cute for me.

I love me some color coding. I also love having a night called "scrounge night." Recipe cards hang on little rings just below the calendar. This is organization on steroids. Like my first example, however, this system requires extra wall space, which I don't really have.

Lots of magnets with a built in shopping list, color coding up the wazoo. I'm not Martha Stewart people.

This chalkboard gives off a restaurant vibe and that is not the vibe I'm going for. This isn't a restaurant, and I'm not a waitress. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Besides, why broadcast to the family what I'm making? It just gives everyone a head start on the complaining.

This binder has dinners planed out for a whole year with corresponding recipes. That's 365 dinners. And bless her heart, the gal who came up with this cute idea has downloadable calendars, tab dividers and shopping lists you can print at home. But going from no dinner organization to a full year of planned meals is a big leap.

Too big.

So I took baby steps.

I started by writing down my repertoire. I was surprised to come up with 40 entrees. (It feels more like 10) Then I polled the family to find out what their favorites were. This way, I could mix favorites with not-so-favorites each week and only have 4 or 5 days of complaining instead of 7.

One of the things I learned by making this list was that all three boys' favorite meal was spaghetti. (Really, spaghetti?)

Then I went to the calendar I keep on the fridge. With a list of 40 meals in front of me, I still didn't know what to write down. So I wrote in the things we ate last week--just to feel extra organized.

It helped.

Finally, I was able to decide what to have for dinner for the next 7 days. It wasn't easy, but today I went grocery shopping and got everything I'll need to make my meals.

Although chances are good that I'm forgetting something.

Here's What Crazy Looks Like (More Fun With Pinterest)

2012-01-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

I have a pin board on Pinterest for stuff I will never do. Some of the stuff I admire and just know that I'll never do it. But some stuff is just so insanely crazy, I'd have to be out of my mind to attempt it. I keep those items on my pinboards just so I can know what crazy looks like--mostly so I can avoid the pitfalls of crazy. But a small part is so I will be able to identify the crazy when it descends upon me.

Knowledge is power people.

Have you ever wanted to make your very own Goldfish crackers? Of course you haven't. Because you are not crazy. Because they are $2 a bag at the grocery store and any toddler worth their snot can chow down half a bag in two fistfulls. If you or someone you love makes their own Goldfish crackers from scratch, it's probably already too late.

These sheep cupcakes are darling, but might I point out that the mini marshmallows are CUT IN HALF. Do you see how many mini marshmallows are on each sheep. If it was one sheep, for just one person, I might let this pass. But as you can plainly see, there is a whole flock of half-cut mini marshmallow sheep!! I won't even get into other parts of these sheep's anatomy, like the head. (What is that? Marzipan?)

These are miniature letters from . . . wait for it . . . the tooth fairy. That's right. Not only does the tooth fairy wait until you've fallen asleep, sneak into your room, and trade you money for your disgusting tooth, she also will leave you a teeny, tiny letter on teeny, tiny stationary and put it in a teeny, tiny envelope with a teeny, tiny stamp and teeny, tiny wax seal. I'm certain our tooth fairy wouldn't even know how to write that small, let alone where to find a teeny, tiny stamp. (Teeny, tiny post office perhaps?)

Our tooth fairy always hides the tooth money in my purse anyway. (At least she's consistent.)

Now this is the kind of crazy I can aspire to. Toilet paper origami, on the roll. I would love to do this at parties: ask to use the restroom and casually fold a rose into the TP before I finished up. Then again, this art form does imply that one had lots of time to just . . . sit around. If you catch my drift.

See this wall art? Cute, no? It's shoebox lids covered in fabric. I am all for thrifty decor, but I don't think I could live with myself if I knew I had shoebox lids on my wall, as art. Although, it would require me to buy some shoes to get the boxes. And one of those lids looks like it came from a boot box . . .

You know all those old sweaters you have hanging around that you don't want to wear anymore? No? Me either. Because I don't save old sweaters I don't want to wear anymore. I give them all to Goodwill. But you can still make these bracelets. Just go to Goodwill, buy back your old sweaters, bring them home and cut them up and--quick!--before they unravel, glue them onto cheap bracelets from the Dollar Tree. (p.s. you will never find bracelets at your Dollar Tree.)

What a lovely wreath made from toilet paper tubes. I have nothing else to add*.

If you've ever made homemade goldfish crackers or written teeny, tiny letters from the tooth fairy I just want to be clear. I don't think you're crazy. I simply think I, personally, would be crazy if I attempted any of those things.

To be fair, you might find some of the things I do to be crazy. For example, I don't save things. Not shoe boxes or toilet paper tubes. And I've already established that I don't save old sweaters. I don't save much of anything. And to some people, that is really crazy.

So maybe I already am crazy.

Maybe.

(But probably not. Have you seen the show Hoarders?)

*Crazy

Statement of Disbelief Regarding My Progeny*

2011-12-30T16:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Ethan's birthday and here are the things he got to do:

Have a special breakfast made by Dad
Go to Burgerville for lunch and have a pepper bacon, Tillamook cheese burger with fries and a chocolate shake.
Go bowling with Dad
Go out for sushi with Mom
Have birthday cake
Stay up late

It's true. It's hard for me to understand how I can have a fourteen year old son when we were just bringing him home from the hospital yesterday. I remember that Ethan was born close to 9pm and I thought how wonderful it was that I would be able to go to sleep around 11 by the time everything got tidied. I figured I'd have a fabulous night's sleep now that my big belly was gone. Then the nurse said, before turning out the lights, that she would come in and wake me around 2am.

What?

I couldn't understand why in the world she would wake me up at that awful hour. When I was sleeping!

And then I figured it out. Oh, right. The baby.

And today that "baby" went bowling (again) and stunned us all with his trick shot, backwards, through the legs strike! He invited friends and we used a Groupon and had lunch and frosted cookies (instead of cupcakes because the store was sold out of cupcakes at 9pm last night) and soda and three games of bowling and time in the arcade afterwards.

I'm glad Ethan has such a great group of friends.

*Title inspired by this video

Christmas 2012*

2011-12-27T12:47:00.000-08:00

We had a super excellent Christmas. Everyone was happy until the day after Christmas when the boys went to Game Stop to spend a little Christmas money on buy-two-get-one games and got in a big argument over money and other stupid stuff.

But Christmas day was lovely in every way.

*I mean 2011

More Ideas From Pinterest

2011-12-14T22:13:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple other things I've been working on from Pinterest. Just so you know, my New Year's resolution is to give Pinterest up cold turkey. I just can't afford to keep looking.

The Pinterest Idea: Hand stitch your route from a recent trip on a map and frame it.

The Real Life Result: My map was way more colorful than the Pinterest example and the red stitching is barely visible to the naked eye. Even the guy who helped me frame it and who was handling it with his, like, hands didn't notice the stitching until I pointed it out. In his defense he quickly recovered by saying the red dotted line just looked like part of the map. Okay.

The Pinterest Idea: Make a cute collage of photos and items on an empty wall.

The Real Life Result: I think I did pretty good with this one. I even used another Pinterest-found trick which was to use taped-together pieces of waxed paper to create a hanging template. Simply lay your giant piece of waxed paper over your frames (lay them out on the floor the way you want them on the wall), make little marks where the nails should go, then tape the waxed paper to the wall and nail right through it. Don't forget to rip the waxed paper template off the wall in dramatic fashion and wad it up in a giant, waxy ball.

I do have a few issues with my wall arrangement (the missing 4x4 picture on the top row, for starters) but I realize no one cares, so I'll just shut up.

The Pinterest Idea: Create a low floral arrangement on a buffet or sideboard with matching lamps and a mirror (or flat screen TV)

The Real Life Result: (Poinsettias pending) I could not find a low, long box to save my life, so opted for 3 low, short boxes. I found a close-enough-matching lamp for $7 at Goodwill (I'd been looking for months thank you very much) and decided to hang a picture of the Savior in front of the mirror. This was me going rogue and not a Pinterest idea. I don't know if this type of thing is "done" but I like it. I've seen people do it with wreaths and I feel it has some seasonal significance, that as we look in the mirror we see the Savior and can "reflect" on how we are living our lives in His service, or something like that.

There's just one, small problem.

I broke the mirror when I went to rehang it. I know I look calm taking the photo, but trust me. I was devastated. Then I was sick to my stomach, depressed, angry, and then just sad. I really liked this mirror. And I really liked my idea to put the picture of the Savior in front of it. And the bottom line is, it was completely my fault it broke. It was an accident, yes, but a preventable one. And I had a moment where knew I should have prevented it, but didn't.

Argh!

Big Bathroom Reveal

2011-12-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

Before After

Goodwill frames, a can of spray paint, and some black and white photos of local stuff on the wall above the toilet. (No more lighthouses!)

Another view of the sink and mirror ($30 from Home Depot!)

I am happy!

Pinterest Wins and Losses

2011-12-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of the latest internet time-waster Pinterest? When you find something you like on the internet, you can "pin" it to one of your pin boards on your Pinterest file and then it's saved for later when you want to go back and try that cool thing you saw. When you link with friends, you can see what they like from the internet and repin their stuff, and so on and so forth until the garage door opens and your husband is home from work and you realize you have no idea what you're making for dinner.

See? Fun!

I've spent the last few months gathering good ideas on Pinterest and on several occasions, taken that next step and tried the good idea myself. Some of these ideas are winners while some are decidedly losers. Here is all the stuff I've done thanks to Pinterest.

Caramel Apple Cookies - in theory, a fabulous idea. In reality, I didn't care for the TEN WHOLE PACKETS of dry apple cider mix taste these cookies had. But Robert loved them. Also a slight turn-off is that these cookies need to be inverted almost immediately after coming out of the oven or the caramel oozes out. Finally, once the cookies have completely cooled, the caramel hardens and the cookies have to be re-warmed slightly to get the gooey effect going again.

Pretzel Cookies with Chocolate and Peanut Butter Chips - Yum! While they were kind of unwieldy to work with, I would double the recipe next time.

Brown Sugar Cookies with Maple Glaze - Meh. The kids didn't like them. I would have rather spent my time making ginger snaps or my favorite walnut cookies with maple frosting.

Photo Booth Props - Win! I was in charge of the photo booth for our ward's trunk or treat. These were easy and fun, even though they weren't the exact props I used. I found some printable ones online.

Crock Pot Sesame Ginger Chicken - This was a hit! Especially when I served it with chopsticks. A yummy Sunday dinner.

Candy Corn Jell-o Bundt - I would have written this review on my regular (or not-so-regular) "Jell-o Project" post, but I didn't get a good picture. The orange and yellow were hard to distinguish from each other until the Jell-o was cut into. I made these in individual molds and unfortunately poured in the lemon Jell-o first, which resulted in an upside down candy corn. Sad. But, the good news is that most everyone liked this Jell-o and many asked for seconds.

Painted Knife Block - This was simple and fun and was one more small detail to my summer kitchen makeover.

Tentacled Hot Dogs - The boys liked preparing and eating this strange looking lunch a couple times. A win!

Chicken Enchiladas - These claimed to be the best chicken enchiladas ever. I didn't think so. They were fine, but I had to make my own enchilada sauce for this one. Not going to do that again.

Totally Awesome Bathroom - This one turned out GREAT! (photos in a day or two)

Cheesy Vegetable Chowder - This was quick, easy and delicious. A win for me and Robert. (Who cares what the boys thought.) I ate this for lunches and left-overs till it was gone. Yum!

Light Saber Chop Sticks - I could not resist. These beauties will be in the boys stockings for Christmas.

Rocky Road Crock-Pot Cake - I'm a sucker for crock-pot cooking and while this cake was yummy, there were a lot of steps for something that just tasted like Hot Fudge Sundae cake.

Double Chocolate Cookies with Peppermint Patty Surprise - Technically, I have not made these cookies. I bought a bag of peppermint patties and thought, do I really want a cookie wrapped around my peppermint patty? The answer was no, so I just ate the peppermint patties.

Slow Cooker Cilantro Lime Chicken - This was easy and yummy, but I'm not really creative when it comes to food, so I wasn't sure how or what to serve it with. It made quite a bit, so for our first meal I put out tortillas and fillings for soft tacos. The next night I used the chicken for salads. The third night I finally got it right and added it to tortilla soup.

Breakfast Casserole - I don't even want to talk about this one.

We Have Toilet!

2011-11-29T08:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we bought a nice new toilet with the help of our plumber friend. It's a Kohler and is not eligible for the $75 refund from our water company. But it's pretty and it works! Although no one has tested it out yet because Robert wants to wait a day or so to see if there are leaks before sealing it. The boys are super excited to try it out though.

Robert started to instal our $30 sink, but found he would need different tool to get the bolts into the wall. But the pedestal is secured to the floor, and the plumbing is sort of in place, so we are moving right along.

But, things can't go too smoothly. This faucet is our small bump in the road. Remember the picture I showed of the small missing cap on the hot water handle? I got through to Pfister who was so helpful and tried to identify my faucet and finally said it was not a Price Pfister.

What?

So I sent the customer service rep the above picture which totally and completely confounded him. He says Price Pfister does not stamp their name on the back of faucets. So maybe we have a knock off?

The matter is being discussed with more seasoned Price Pfister employees and my customer service guy will get back to me.

So! The plot thickens.

Epic Fail

2011-11-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

Every single morning, I give my kids cold cereal. And every once in a while I kind of feel bad about that. So last night I made this breakfast casserole. It cooked all night and the delicious smell actually got me out of bed this morning. I ate and loved it. Yum!

Then I got the kids up and gave it to them.

They hated it. Every single one of them. Each took one bite and then poured themselves a bowl of Berry Colossal Crunch.

This breakfast casserole contains 2 pounds of shredded potatoes and a dozen eggs, among other things. And that's it. They don't like it at all.

"Well," Ethan said, "I guess you'll just have to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 5 days."

Kids! You can't beat 'em. (No, you really can't. Child protective services will come.)

Bathroom Diaries

2011-11-23T15:19:00.000-08:00

Look at my pretty bathroom! The wainscoting needs one more coat of paint (hopefully, because that's all the paint I have left), and a coat of clear coat varnish and then, I think, it is time to put in the toilet.

Except.

We took the Flow Wise, Cadet 3 toilet back to Home Depot. We had toilet remorse after purchasing the it based solely on the recommendation of the Home Depot employee and not on Consumer Reports, Amazon reviews, and several other on-line toilet authorities. And when I say "we," I mean Robert. Which is fine.

Remember how I told you about the sweet sink deal we found at the ReBuliding Center? Well, here's the spiffy faucet that came right on it. As you can see, it's missing a part--a little cap that covers the screw on the "hot" handle. But the good news is we can buy replacement parts. Also good, is that it's a very minor, cosmetic-type part, (This is me looking on the bright side) and will not affect our use of the sink in any way. Hopefully.

I'm in the process of submitting a query to a replacement parts outfit and hopefully they can help make my faucet whole again.

I think I'm going to buy towels on Black Friday.

Rain: Our Damp Friend (A Primer)

2011-11-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

In Portland every year about this time, it starts to rain. And it doesn't stop until May. Oh sure, we might have a day here and there where it doesn't rain. And even one or two where the sun pops through the clouds and and we glimpse the blue sky. But more often than not, when you go outside, it will be raining.

And when there's rain, there will be people complaining about rain. I'm all for complaining about rain. But let's pace ourselves people. We've got a few months of this weather ahead of us. Save the whining for Easter morning, when the egg hunt is moved indoors. Or Spring Break, when you're freezing and drenched on the beach. Or on Memorial Day when you're grilling steak under an umbrella.

We have plenty of time to complain. Now is the time to embrace the rain. After all, rain is our thing. We're the ones who can stick it out at Disneyland during a drizzle when everyone else runs for cover. We don't let rain stop us. We exercise in the rain, shop in the rain and garden in the rain. We own rain.

If you are new to Portland, or new to rain, or are simply ready to file a formal complaint with Mother Nature, here are a few tips to help you have a rain paradigm shift.

Accessorize for it

Start your new love affair with rain with an awesome umbrella. Do not use a black, boring umbrella. This is the first rain-relationship mistake. How are you supposed to use an ugly umbrella without getting depressed? Go find yourself a unique, exciting, totally-you umbrella. Something like this little lady to the right. Cute, isn't she? I have a Monet umbrella. It cost a little more than the ugly black one, but every time I get to use it is a treat.

Rain boots are another must-have accessory for the rainy season. Let's face it. Most of us aren't going to be trudging through puddles all day, but a cute pair of rain boots are still acceptable and fun rain accessories.

You can't get away with wearing something like this any old time. No. It needs to be wet, or people will think you're weird. (Which, as it happens, is a-okay in Portland, but that's a whole other post.)

You can head over to Fred Meyer and pick up some groovy boots for a few bucks, or you can look around online and find something truly amazing. Something that is going to make you start wishing it would rain.

That's the kind of boot we're looking for.

Name it
It is said that Eskimos have over 500 words for snow.* Well, Portlanders have a lot of words for rain. There's showers, drizzle, freezing rain, mist, heavy mist, sprinkles, slurry, wintry mix, slush. I could go on ** but you get the idea. Listen to the weather forecast on the nightly news and see if you can understand what kind of rain they're talking about. Or, you could amuse yourself with how the weatherman jazzes up the same forecast from the last 4 weeks to make it sound like something new. It's fun. Try it.

Go out in it
Don't be afraid. It's just water. It dries. And no one's paying attention to your hair cause we're all focused on our own dreadful messes. Pull on those boots and grab that umbrella and go to the zoo. There's never a better time to go than when it rains. It's like you have the whole place to yourself. Or, go downtown, or to the grocery store. Wherever you want. Don't stop living your life because of a little water.

Listen to it
One morning, lay in bed all cozied up in your covers, and listen to the rain. It's amazing. People buy machines that make this noise and we get it for free. For. Free! Enjoy it. Relax.

Watch it
Have you ever watched the rain pouring down? Bouncing off the street? Rushing down the gutters? Sheeting off roofs? Dripping down windows? Making endless circles in a pond? Beading up on a bare branch? Soaking a crazy runner? Rooster-tailing off the tires of a car as it drives down the street? Come on. What are you waiting for?

Justify it
Rain is better than snow because you don't have to shovel it. It doesn't pile up. And if it's raining, you know it's at least 33 degrees, which means it's not freezing, which means it's warm. (I understand 33 is considered shorts weather in places like Alaska and Minnesota.) Rain doesn't hang around and turn brown and grey like snow. It cleans things. It smells good. It turns things green instead of killing them.

I'm sure you could come up with a few more reasons why rain is awesome. If you try.

Don't fight the rain. Welcome the rain. Soon you might even find yourself complaining when the sun actually does appear, bouncing light off the wet pavement directly into your eyes, temporarily blinding you until you rummage through the glove box and find your sunglasses.

Oh, who am I kidding. You're never going to find your sunglasses.

Welcome to Portland. Welcome to rain.

*I just made this up.
** No I couldn't.

Moving Right Along

2011-11-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night Robert and I went toilet shopping. The good news is that our water company has a $75 rebate for new toilets that have "flow wise" water saving features. The better news is that I learned toilets have cool names like "Memoirs," and "Town Square." Can you imagine the inspiration that would come from sitting on a toilet called "Memoirs?" Or the confidence that a "Town Square" toilet might spark?

The best news, however, was that our new toilet has dual flush, so you can customize your flush to your--how do I say this delicately--output. (The flush buttons are labeled 1 and 2.)

Wednesday morning we went over to Linoleum City across the river to see about some flooring. We decided against tile because of number of materials, time and effort required. I had my heart set on Marmoleum, which is a natural, sustainable flooring product. But that's not why I like it. (Although I will wear the green badge proudly--as all Portlanders do. And hopefully it will offset the fact that I throw away plastic grocery bags).

Anyway, I wanted Marmoleum for much more than altruistic reasons. I like the way it looks. It doesn't have pits and grooves like many linoleums do. It isn't pretending poorly to look like tile or some other surface, and it's solid color all the way through. There is a yellow sheen to it which makes it seem taupe, but it's going to be grey. The sheen is supposed to go away after a few days.

After sticker shock at the flooring store, we headed over to the ReBuilding Center a non-profit which accepts and sells used building and remodeling materials. We were able to bring our 90's-tastic bathroom stuff, like the movie star dressing room light strip, towel bars, sink and vanity and drop them off. Then we went inside and found a white pedestal sink with a brushed nickel Price Pfister faucet for $30.

The ReBuilding Center, by the way, is a place I could spend a lot more time in. Robert too. What a find.

I've got the moulding painted and the bead board is ready to go. I might do that today, but I know that Robert really, really wants to make the cuts so it gets done right. And he's at work today.

I just really want to get it done.

Progress

2011-11-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

I painted the walls of our little bathroom, then installed the new light fixture. Then I switched on the power and noticed what a sub-standard job I'd done painting. And it's two coats! How could I not have good coverage? I was careful, I was thorough. I've gone through two quarts of paint when I only planned for one.

Here's a picture of the bathroom with the light off so you can see how 21st century the light fixture looks.

The next step is the floor. I am currently exploring the cost/time commitment of tile vs. linoleum. Hopefully I can get started on it tomorrow.

Then wainscoting, moulding, sink, toilet, mirror, new towels, black and white photos in coordinating frames and DONE!

In Which I Second Guess the Two LEGO Kits I Have Stashed Under the Bed

2011-11-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

Jonah's Christmas List

(Because I will probably lose the actual list at some point in the next six weeks.)

Dear Santa,

I want the following items

1. a surprize

2. a hex bug kit

3. a tin (of Pokemon cards)

4. remote control Beyblade

In stocking I want

1. a hex bug

2. Pokemon pack

3. anything small

p.s. 2, 3 and 4 will cost >$4

p.s. Go to Target

Having That Conversation

2011-11-12T12:15:00.000-08:00

I've been horrified this week as the news out of Penn State has developed. Horrified, disgusted, and then terrified. Mr. Sandusky is just one who got caught. I'm fully aware there are others like him still preying on, and destroying the innocence of young children. I want, more than anything, to protect my children from men like Sandusky.

So, yesterday while we were driving home from Chuck E. Cheese, I turned off the radio and decided to have a conversation with my three boys. They were strapped in, we were driving on the freeway, there was no place for them to go.

I wasn't sure how to start, so I asked them about their trips to public restrooms.

"Has anyone ever tried to talk to you while you were in a public bathroom?" I usually stand at the door and tell them to yell super loud if anyone makes them uncomfortable and assure them I will run in to help immediately. So I was pretty sure I knew the answer to this question.

"No," they all assured me. So I got more specific.

"No one has ever tried to get you to go into a stall with them, or anything like that?"

"No!" they said again. "Of course not."

I kept going. "You know that it's okay to tell a grown up 'no' if they are asking you to do things that are wrong, or things that make you uncomfortable. No one should ever touch you in places that are covered by a bathing suit. And you can always tell me anything that you feel weird about. I will always help you."

"Okay," they said.

"Sometimes a grown up will make you feel uncomfortable and you might not know why. They don't even have to do or say anything. You just might not like being around them. And that's okay too."

"Yeah, I've felt that way before," Jonah said.

This was it! I'd ferreted out the information that would protect my boys! "Really?" I said. "Who makes you feel uncomfortable?"

"Midgets," Jonah said.

"That one in Taco Bell?" Isaac asked.

"Yeah. That was weird."

So we're in the clear as far as sexual predators go, but maybe need to work a bit on height bias.

Thank goodness.

Starting

2011-11-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the kids didn't have school so I told them they could tear apart the bathroom if they wanted. Yes, it was a little impulsive, but I figured I wanted to get this bathroom into the 21st century, so I might as well get started. Right? I mean, the century is NOT getting any younger. And, if we took out the moulding and floor, we'd be committed to the project.

And here, I should mention that Robert was not aware the bathroom remodel had moved from the idea stage to the green-light stage. Thank goodness he came home during book group and was able to have an hour to formulate his reaction, which was first perfect, then less perfect, and finally perfect again.

Jonah was happy to pull off the moulding and linoleum, Isaac hauled it all to the trash, and Ethan helped remove the tile backsplash.

I started edging with my new grey paint, even though the walls still had a lot more prep to go through before they were paint-ready. For one, the giant mirror has to come off. But I soon realized that when the mirror comes off, so will some of the wall. Which will require drywall replacement, which will require me to purchase drywall, and some tools and supplies I don't have. Most importantly and most improbable, it will require me to match up wall texture.

Ugh. This is hard.

The tile backsplash had fused to the wall and may also require drywall repair. But I'm thinking I can just cover that up with a little bead board and moulding.

At any rate, there's no going back now.

Finally, my latest obsession with this bathroom is the fact that when we put in tile, we will also have to adjust that ring around the base of the toilet and I don't know how to do that. Do we leave it where it is and tile around it? Or do we pull it up, tile, then screw it into the tile?

For this reason, I'm considering marmoleum. It would be easy to clean.

Obsessing

2011-11-09T05:48:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 4 something this morning thinking about pedestal sinks. And tile and wainscoting and grey paint. And there might have been a sledge hammer in there somewhere too.

I've lived with this perfectly 90's-tastic lighthouse themed bathroom for seven years. I hated it from the get-go (there is a large wallpaper cutout of a window looking out onto a lighthouse on the other wall).

But bathroom change was low on the priority list when I had things to worry about like trips to the emergency room, getting blood stains out of carpet and cleaning up spilled wax, masticated popcorn, and folding every item of clothing in the house for the third time in a week.

But, things have mellowed out a bit. Our family has found this sort of rhythm that comes with age, maturity, and the fact that the kids are in school seven hours a day. It's a really good rhythm.

Oh! And I also saw this:

And I want, want, want it. Really bad.

And I think I could do it. Well, not the sink part. And not the toilet part. But definitely the painting part. I would have no problem purchasing the wainscoting and the moulding and the fixtures. (I already picked out the new light fixture from Home Depot yesterday).

I'm thinking the first step would be to turn off the water, or something, so that when I pull out the toilet and sink water doesn't flood the house. Does anyone know how to do that?

Feast for the Eyes

2011-11-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

In a few weeks we will all sit down to a feast for the belly. Right now, however, I'm enjoying a feast for the eyes. As I drive in and out of my neighborhood, I'm overwhelmed with the rich colors and the stunning beauty of each tree. Across the street there is a lovely orange and green specimen. The fallen leaves on the lawn are like an orange snow. Next door, the tree is vibrant red with nearly black branches and trunk peeking through in contrast.

All the street-facing windows offer this kind of view and every time I pass one, it's a tiny bit overwhelming. I'm stunned by the beauty, but saddened by it's impermanence. At the same time, I realize it's fleeting nature is what makes it such a treat.

So, for now, I will feast on the color of the leaves in our neighborhood, like a Thanksgiving meal for my eyes. I will stuff myself with beauty, I will relish the singularity of each tree and stand in awe of the vast smorgasbord of offerings all around me. I will rest, then come back for seconds and thirds. I will not pass this buffet without enjoying.

Because soon there will be nothing but left-overs piled on the ground with bare branches above. The remains will turn brown and moldy and will finally be swept to the curb and removed. And it will be a long, cold winter until the trees bring forth their feast once more.

What I'm Thinking

2011-11-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday I participated in the Boutique at the Barn, which was super fun. I had a great time sitting next to Samurai Mom and her awesome display of demi millinery as well as seeing lots of friends who came to shop. The event was the culmination of much stress and a few tears, and a lot of what-did-I-get-myself-into's.

Also, I sewed 20 new purses for the event. Along with the purses I already had in inventory, that made 31 purses to sell at the show. And, don't forget, each purse has a story that goes with it. It was a lot of sewing and a lot of writing.

Then I had to figure out a way to get 31 purses and stories to look cute, so I made tags and ironed out wrinkles and created some displays. Some displays were inexpensive, like the $1.99 plate holder from Goodwill. Others were more expensive, like the $15 jewelry holder from JoAnn's (but I had a 40% off coupon). The $9 table leg and $1 dowel from Home Depot was the display that held the most purses, but also required some assembly (thanks Robert.)

I loved how people would come up to my purses and read the stories and laugh and laugh. I had two ladies tell me they had a craft show in September and would love to invite me to participate next year--that my purses would be a perfect fit. I had a couple other ladies tell me that people were talking about the "purses with stories" on the other side of the horse arena (did I tell you the craft fair was in a horse arena?) So there was good buzz and great feedback on the bags.

Unfortunately, I only sold five purses on Saturday.

This was disappointing on several levels but the biggest one was that I now had to cart all the purses back to my house.

Only slightly less disappointing was the realization that crafting just doesn't pay. The amount of time and effort that goes into making one of these purses, plus that fact that I'm mostly paying retail with coupons for the supplies adds up to a very, very small profit.

Now, if I felt some compulsion to sew purses and just could not stop doing it, then maybe this might be a good avenue for me to recoup some of my cost. But the purses have become a burden--something I have to do.

So, what I'm thinking is that I'll put these bad boys up on Etsy, offer free shipping through Dec 15 and try and move some inventory. Then I'm done with the purse business.

Halloween Time

2011-10-31T20:13:00.000-07:00

This year for Halloween, the boys went as Link from The Legend of Zelda video game. I made the costumes which consisted of tunics, fingerless gloves, hats, boots and baldrics (that thing that goes over the shoulder that holds the sword.) The shirts and sweats I got from Hanes.com. I also made shields and sword sheaths.

Here's how it all turned out.

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention the pointy ears. There is a story that goes with the pointy ears and it includes no one wanting to wear them, me begging, then me threatening and then all the ears falling off before the festivities even got started. Sigh.

Ethan just came home with 12 pounds of candy. He is currently in his room sorting through it and thanks to the Halloween Witch fiasco of 2008, he will not part with one ounce. Jonah and Isaac have a normal amount of candy, probably one pound each, and have already each sold me a dollar's worth @ 5 cents per candy.

Halloween is like this gateway to the rest of the holidays that demand so much time and money and pomp. Somehow I can get away with a pumpkin and a bowl of candy for my Halloween decorations, but soon, much, much more will be required. And so along with "Happy Halloween" I also must add, "here we go."

My Kitchen: What It Is

2011-10-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

If I waited until I got everything done on my kitchen re-do, I would never post pictures of my progress. I thought that would be unfair to all my adoring fans who, I'm sure, check this blog daily to see if I've posted my big reveal.

And I wanted a big reveal. I wanted everything on my list done, done, done before I posted pictures. But, as I was reminded by a good friend and talented decorator today, it is what it is. So, I'm going for the medium-sized reveal.

Here, without further ado, is what IT is. (Click here to see "before" pictures)

New chairs at the kitchen table. Not refinished or painted and dearly in need of some attention. But, it is what it is. I think they look fabulous with my grandma's old table.

Wall color is Sandstone Cove by Behr, the island is Castle Path, also by Behr.

There's a brand new, beautiful light fixture over the kitchen table and flour sack towel window treatments on the windows. I've put some canning supplies on top of the cupboards. You can't really see, but there is an awesome chicken-wire basket holding all my rings and lids, plus two wire bale jars.

Here's another view of the kitchen. What's that you say? I forgot to paint the island cupboard door? Well, not exactly. I didn't forget. I was lazy and indecisive. You see, we have a nice piece of bead board that will fit inside that cupboard panel perfectly. But I wasn't sure how to remove the panel and put in the bead board, even though I've watched many, many YouTube and HGTV videos on the subject. One day I will paint it. For now, it is what it is.

I want to put bubble glass in the cupboard doors over the desk. But again, I run into the problem of not knowing how to take out the panels and put in glass. But I'm going to do it. I've already cleaned up the shelves inside too, so they are ready to go on display. Honest!

I love the shiny piece of sheet metal on the pantry door as our new magnet board. It's mostly covered by perfect, 100% papers from school (no, I'm not joking) and you can't really see the shiny sheet metal, but--repeat after me--it is what it is.

The inspiration item for the kitchen redo was my grandma's milk glass salt and pepper shakers. (And I'm noticing now that I didn't even get a nice close up of them.) As I worked on the kitchen, I realized that I have a whole lot of other things that were my grandma's that I love, and that I wanted to showcase. And so the Jell-o molds now have a prominent place in my kitchen. I want to shab up their little shelf though and then it will go on the wall near my kitchen sink. (See the frame in the corner of the picture? That might be the look I'm going for.)

See this sign? It's a real, honest-to-goodness farm sign. It was posted outside my grandfather's ranch for at least 30 years. It's weathered and bits of wood fall off from time to time, and those paint flakes--probably lead. But I'm almost positive it's free of termites. I'd like to display this somewhere in the kitchen, but I'm not sure it will work. It's big and it might just be too overpowering for the room.

Here's what I had in mind for the sign--over the kitchen sink. What do you think?

Oh by the way, that curtain rod over the sink is stretched to its limit and a little saggy in the middle. I'm going to fix that too.

Here's a glimpse into what the wall art will look like. This is a copy of a picture from an old cookbook my grandma sent me when I was seven years old. It used to be my mom's. I've got the edited pictures all ready to print (thanks I-Shüan). I just have to print them and put them in the frames. And I will. Soon.

And here's another view of the island. I could have just shown you this side and you never would have seen the unfinished door. But, with honesty comes freedom. The unpainted cupboard reminds me that I'm not perfect and I won't be as long as I live on this earth. So I shouldn't go nuts trying to reach some crazy, glossy magazine standard of life because no one is that perfect. And we don't have to be.

Oh! And one more thing:

My rug! It actually worked. And I actually kind of like it. I made another one for the door to the backyard, but I'm not picturing it here. That's where I draw the line at honestly and full disclosure. It doesn't lay flat and the boys got some mud on it when they came in from outside the other day. And I'm not sure it will survive the wash. (ha!)

It is what it is.

Am I Crazy? (Don't Answer That)

2011-10-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend I enjoyed General Conference. I love going to church at home in my pajamas. Possibly my favorite two Sundays of the whole year. This year I spent almost the whole eight hours of conference braiding strips of three old sheets into this really long cord. My hope is that one day it will turn into two rugs for my kitchen. Or one rug. But two would be nice.

I was kind of hoping that the rug would happen sooner than later, but as I started to sew together other strips that I made from old t-shirts in order to create place mats, I found my creation becoming more bowl-like than mat-like. It was pretty frustrating. The stitch ripper was employed.

So now I'm a little nervous about sewing my rugs together. I'm also looking at that ball and thinking I'll probably will be "rug" rather than "rugs." But with all the work it took to get that ball of braid, it should be more like ten rugs.

Anyway, I'm making a rug. Is that weird?

It's Getting Better

2011-09-29T15:57:00.000-07:00

Good news, the kids are eating meals again.

Also in the "good" column, we got our light fixture. And, I installed it. By myself! Without getting electrocuted.

Still a few things to do. Details like window treatments, rugs and place mats, pictures for the walls. And maybe a weathered old farm sign. But I'm still thinking about it. (I'm pretty sure there aren't any more bugs in it.)

Best of all, I'm not freaking out anymore. Things are starting to come together.

It's Worse

2011-09-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

A week into this kitchen re-do and I'm losing steam. The problem is things are in a bit of disarray around here. It's utter chaos actually.

Dinner is purchased each night at 5:30 from the grocery store down the street: 68 cent chicken pot pies one night, a frozen pizza another night, grilled cheese and canned soup another. We sit around a cluttered table, or sometimes just eat in shifts and search for utensils because the've been temporarily reassigned a different spot. We've run out of paper towels and all the dish rags have been used as cleaning rags and are in the wash.

It's not just kitchen things we can't find either. While I've been working on the kitchen, the rest of the house has gone to pot as well. We can't find soccer cleats or shin guards and somehow we are missing car seats. Ethan misplaces something every time he sets it down. Because of the clutter everywhere, he simply can't see where he put it. The best part, of course, is when he accuses everyone around him of stealing whatever it is that he lost. (Like anyone would want his 2 liter water rocket).

I was just told today by an informative Miller Paint employee that I've used the wrong kind of paint for my drawers. Her tone implied that I would need to purchase a can of paint remover and a bulk package of sandpaper. I wanted to yell at her. Does she realize how hard I've been working? It's done. The paint is on. There's no going back. I can't get her special kind of paint NOW. So it does no good for her to tell me I've completely screwed up.

Robert is not convinced of the magnet board covered pantry door (which I believe we need very much) and the new brushed pewter (or whatever it's called) colored doorknob to replace the brass one on the pantry didn't fit. And today I bought a chair for $15 and didn't notice until I was well on my way that one of the rails had been severely chewed by a dog. Or a beaver. As hard as I try not to, I think I see a few spots on the wall I need to repaint. Most of all though, the thought of staining or painting chairs makes me hyperventilate.

Meanwhile, life goes on. And with a messy house, it goes on very, very inefficiently. We have soccer games and mutual activities and piano lessons and tutoring and--oh my gosh--people still want to eat. Laundry continues to pile up and pee continues to spot the floors around the base of the toilets.

I've got to finish up with this project. Soon.

But all I really want to do is lay down for a long time.

It Will Get Worse Before It Gets Better

2011-09-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I asked a friend for some ideas to update my kitchen.

After our 25 day vacation, I walked into our house and everything seemed old, and lame, and in desperate need of a coat of paint and a major update. That's when I e-mailed Emily.

Emily is the queen of DIY. She can turn a bed skirt into an actual skirt or a pillow case into an apron. But she also knows what she's talking about when it comes to interior design. I was expecting a few ideas, jotted down in an e-mail, but what I got was a full-on design consult. She came to my house and took pictures and had some amazing ideas.

But that's not all. She also came up with this blog post which explains, in detail, all her ideas. When I saw the post this morning at 6:14 I realized that Home Depot had just opened and even though I was in my robe and slippers, I wanted nothing more than to run over there and start shopping.

Instead, I started trolling Craigslist for new chairs. And then I started obsessively e-mailing Emily pictures of my finds and asking her what she thought. And then I drove out to Sherwood and bought 5 chairs and a table with 2 leaves for $30. I'm going to sell the table and leaves and the chairs are in need of some TLC, but that's $6 a chair people.

So over the next few days (probably weeks) I'll be posting pics of my kitchen transformation. Robert and I have been throwing around words like bead board and bubble glass all day and trying to figure out how, with only 5 days left of his sabbatical, we are going to get all this done.

Even though our kitchen and house and probably garage and backyard are going to be chaotic for the next few days, this is how I feel right now . . .

Thank you Emily!!

The Beach Sans Kids

2011-09-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

Robert and I took a three-day trip to the Oregon Coast this week and left the kids at home. Well, they weren't at our home. They were at our fabulous friend's home. (Thank you fabulous friend for watching our boys!) We had such a great, relaxing time and while we aren't ready to trade our cute boys in yet, we realized there are sure a lot of things you can do on vacation when you don't have kids.

For example, you can get up and go whenever you want and with relative ease. We arrived at the Yaquina Head lighthouse early enough to get these great pictures, and also to visit the tide pools at low tide.

And speaking of tide pools, if you don't bring your kids with you to the beach, you can spend time looking. Really looking. You don't have to keep your eye out for sneaker waves that might take your babies out to sea. You don't have to bring a change of clothes for the kids who will ultimately fall into the water and get soaked. You don't have to mediate fights over who saw the sea star first or convince anyone that we are NOT taking a hermit crab home.

And because you can stare and look and search, you might even see a very rare giant Pacific chiton. Or, you could spend a few, uninterrupted minutes listening to a very interesting park ranger who will point it out to you.

You could take pictures of the cobbles that cover the beach. You could then go to the interpretive center and read ALL the exhibit plaques and learn that these cobbles are from ancient volcanic lava flow.

If you don't bring kids to the beach, you can take one of those dorky self portraits where you hold out your arm with the camera and hope you get you and your sweetie centered. Then you might think that it doesn't even look like you took the picture yourself. Until you see your arm reflected in your husband's sunglasses.

If you don't bring your kids with you to the beach, you can climb out onto the rocks where the rising tide threatens to leave you stranded, and not even worry about it.

If you leave your kids home when you go to the beach you can break the rules, climb under the safety rail, and hike down to the crashing waves at the bottom of a cliff.

Speaking of crashing waves, if you leave your kids home when you go to the beach, you can sit and watch the waves for as long as you want. No one will complain that they want to do something else. No one will get too close to the edge. No one will ask you to carry them up the steep hill when it's time to leave.

And after you hike out and get back to your car, if you want to lean your seat back and take a nap, you can. You can sleep for 30 minutes if you want. And when you wake up and see some people looking out into the ocean with binoculars, you can ask them what they see. And when they tell you they see whales, you can see the whales too. For as long as you want. (whales not pictured)

If you don't bring your kids with you when you go to the beach, you can go to a 16 and over concert at a casino and hear the B-52s. The B-52s!!! And they will sing Love Shack and Rock Lobster and you can scream and dance and wave your arms like a crazy person and no one will be embarrassed of you.

And if you don't bring your kids with you to the beach, it will feel great when they run up and give you a hug when you come home. It will feel great when they ask you to tuck them in at night and to give them a kiss. Especially if the child asking for you to tuck and kiss is your 13-year-old.

And when things get harried--when the school bus is coming down the street and no one can find their shoes--you can take a deep breath and close your eyes and remember the amazing time you had at the beach with your husband when you left the kids at home. And you'll feel just a little bit calmer.

After you find the shoes and get those kids on the bus, of course.

Shhh!

2011-09-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

Don't tell anyone, but I'm a little sad that summer break is over. School starts in just 3 hours and 40 minutes and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. Well, I know I'm not ready. I lost the paperwork that tells what bus number the kids are supposed to take home as well as the one that I'm supposed to sign saying they should ride the bus home. It was in the same spot for 5 days and now it's gone.

We had a fun summer. The boys had a blast playing with friends in the neighborhood. They rebuilt a go-cart and had Pokemon tournaments and became better swimmers and tried to catch frogs at the pond and organized neighborhood soccer games, and jumped on the neighbor's trampoline and played on the other neighbor's inflatable water slide, and roasted marshmallows in the backyard. Not to mention Disneyland, SeaWorld, seven national parks, a zip line, three cousins, two grandparents, a new friend, and DVD players for the car.

Plus, the best weather of summer is happening right now. We've got hot days with warm nights and it just doesn't seem right to have to go to bed early because it's a school night.

I've enjoyed watching my boys become more independent and creative. I've loved seeing the joy on their faces as plan and organize and carry-out their fun ideas. I've loved waking up "whenever" and pointing to a box of frozen corn dogs when it's time for lunch and telling them to "help themselves."

The house is a disaster, the laundry pile seems never-ending (I suspect the boys are throwing clean clothes in there rather than refolding them or shoving them back in their drawers. But I don't care), we can barely walk into the garage anymore for all the bikes, balls, scooters and skateboards that are strewn around, and the only food in the fridge is milk, cheese, eggs and some left over beef barley soup.

But I don't care. I've surrendered to summer and it feels great.

I feel like I'm betraying my other mom friends who have joined me in years past doing back flips on the lawn when the school bus drives away that first day. I'm sorry, but I'm just not that happy today.

I'm a little happy. Just not back flip happy.

The End

2011-08-28T21:39:00.000-07:00

We survived our 25-day family vacation. I can't say the same for thousands of bugs.

Hitting bugs wasn't much of a problem until we came to Idaho. Specifically the road between Pocatello and Boise. Seriously. The bugs were thick. We had to stop every two hours just to clean the windshield. Of course this also coincided with Isaac's incredibly small bladder's urgent need to empty.

It's great to be home. The boys are thrilled to see their friends again. Robert still has several weeks of his sabbatical left and I'm looking forward to working with him on several home projects and maybe even taking a little vacation. Just the two of us.

23 Days

2011-08-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

Some questions will never be answered. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop," for example. You might think that the question, "how many days does it take a teenager to get on board with the family vacation," is another one of those that will never be answered.

But friends, I have the answer:

Twenty-three days! Today Ethan was excited, he was engaged, he actually uttered the words, "I could look at this all day," and he wasn't referring to his 3DS.

We started off Friday morning in the Madison Junior Ranger station, again. Jonah really wanted to get his badge from this station, and believe it or not, Ethan really, really wanted to help raise the flag again. And he did. (If you're wondering what it looked like, just check out the photo from yesterday).

On our way out of the ranger station, we overheard one of the rangers talking about a dead bison up the road a bit. She was worried a grizzly would come soon and that park visitors might be at risk. So we headed right up there. Because we wanted to see a dead bison and hopefully a grizzly.

So, dead bison. We didn't get out of our car because we were certain a grizzly would come at any second and rip us to shreds. Obviously other people didn't have the same fears. We didn't bother waiting around though and headed up to Artist's Paint Pots.

Artist's Paint Pots were colorful geothermal features that made me think I was on Mars, instead of Earth. There was a mud volcano with thick, greyish gloop that bubbled and plopped. This is what Ethan declared he could watch all day. I didn't get a good picture of that paint pot, so I just nabbed this one off the Internet:

On the way back towards Old Faithful Village we stopped at Gibbon Falls.

Can I just tell you how much I was enjoying "on board" Ethan!

But, isn't there some law of balance in the universe that keeps things even? If one kid goes from bad to good attitude, another has to go from good to bad. I didn't take a picture of Isaac, but let's just say he was ready to be done with tour-de-Nelson.

The next stop was Midway Geyser Basin which was totally cool. The piece de résistance was the Grand Prismatic Spring. I'm guessing this photo doesn't mean a whole lot to you. It was difficult to capture the beauty and weirdness. Mostly because to see the deep blues and greens of the water, one needed to be above the pool and in my case, I was not. But here is a lovely overhead shot for you to enjoy. See the little people on the pathway? That's how huge it is.

And this is me getting all artistic on the beauty in nature. The orange was so vivid.

This was Opal Spring and you can get a better idea of the blueish green water up against the orange border. The colors are caused by thermophiles, bacteria that thrive in heat. The orange bacteria like the hotter temps while the blue and green like the cooler, but still warm temps.

We caught one more blast from Old Faithful and this time I think I got a pretty good picture. The wind was blowing the steam just right.

It was just about time for us to leave Yellowstone and head for our stop for the night, Burley, Idaho. Ethan was sad. This made stopping at one more place a little bit easier.

Of course to the casual observer, as we walked around these geysers, springs, mud volcanoes and fumerols, it would have appeared that Isaac was on a death march. That is why he doesn't appear in the picture at Spasm Geyser.

Yellowstone was amazing. There was so much to see and we had so little time. At times I felt like I was on the set of a sci-fi movie and was fascinated by the strangeness of the bubbling, oozing, steaming ground all around me. Hopefully we will make it back to Yellowstone some day and can explore it a little more.

In Which I find Out How Many Pictures of Bison is Too Many

2011-08-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

Thursday morning we drove into Yellowstone and stopped at the Madison Junior Ranger Station. I thought the building would have a short little door that adults had to bend down to get through, but it was regular size. There were quite a few kid ranger programs though, so we sat in on the Animal Hats talk (a.k.a. horns and antlers--I now know the difference between the two) and the kids and Robert got started on their seventh junior ranger program.

Ranger Sharon asked Ethan if he wanted to help put up the flag and he did. This made a big impression on Ethan. (Tune in for Friday's report to find out just how big.) Jonah and Isaac also helped.

There was a display table of "please touch" horns and antlers in the station and Jonah had fun with this bison horn. I wonder what the difference between a bison and a buffalo is?

(Really Afton? A third picture from the Junior Ranger station?)

Here are the boys in front of the Madison Junior Ranger Station. I just thought it was such a fun place, and we did spend about an hour there. It was our first introduction to Yellowstone, and the first "Junior" Ranger Station I'd ever seen. And I've seen a lot in the last 22 days.

We drove up the road a bit to the Old Faithful Village. This is where we stopped last night for dinner, but this time we came to see the geyser. It is both old and faithful, erupting every 60-90 minutes. I took plenty of pictures of the geyser erupting, and even a video, but the video is sideways (I keep forgetting--no portrait mode!) and the pictures I did take just don't do it justice. So you just get a shot of Jonah and the sign.

We lunched in the Old Faithful Inn. It is stunning to behold. Seriously. The inside is made from all this knotty pine and stone and it's just beautiful. At lunch, the waiter brought activity books for the kids and in the activity books there was a page for collecting stickers from different places around the park. Collect four out of five stickers and the kids would each get a cute stuffed bear and a coupon for a free ice cream sundae!

The only problem was the different locations were hours away. We decided to collect the stickers anyway and it really turned out to be a good thing. As we drove from place to place (Lake Lodge, Canyon Lodge, and Roosevelt Lodge) we were able to stop and see some amazing things.

Or sometimes we didn't even have to stop, as in the photo above. This bison just walked down the road past our car. They are so weird-looking.

Another stop was the trail at Mud Pots, or Mud Volcanoes. I can't remember exactly what it was called. I can remember that it was strange and otherworldly and that it reeked of sulphur. At first the boys complained about the smell, but we all eventually got used to it.

Except when we got to Dragon's Mouth Spring.

It was at this point that the boys started to complain about how many times we were stopping to see bison. I had to agree that it was starting to feel like "you've seen one, you've seen them all."

On the way to Canyon Lodge, we stopped at the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone and Lower Falls. The walk to Artist's Loop was short and very well worth it. The view was inspiring. Kind of hard to see in this picture of Jonah, but Lower Falls is in the background

Here you can see both Lower Falls and the yellow stone that Robert said Yellowstone National Park got its name from. I'm thinking Christmas card with this photo.

We completed the kids sticker books and they got their stuffed animals from Roosevelt Lodge. Just as we were driving off, there was a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder and the storm continued as we drove back over the mountains. The pounding rain turned into plopping slush and then marble-sized hail. The road between Canyon Lodge and Norris was completely covered in an inch of hail. Before we exited the park though, the sun had reappeared and the roads were clear.

What a difference a few miles can make.

How Grand: Part Two

2011-08-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

We left Draper, Utah and headed for Jackson, Wyoming. What a fun little town. They love their bronze statues. They're everywhere. Even out in the middle of what appears to be nowhere. It really jazzes up the place.

But if you really want to jazz up the place, might I suggest about a million elk antlers? At first I thought this was a PETA nightmare, but then I found out that the antlers shed each fall, so like, no elk were harmed in the making of this antler archway.

Bronze moose at Grand Teton

After lunch (not at the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar--because the Million Dollar Cowboy family-friendly Steakhouse was closed until dinner) we headed north to Grand Teton National Forest. Not as grand as the other Grand we enjoyed this month, but still, quite stunning.

We listened to a ranger talk on moose. Did you know that moose usually stand about 7 feet tall at the shoulder, but their poop is only as big as a kalamata olive? The ranger had a lot more information on moose poop which I will not go into here.

We took a little hike/walk around Jenny Lake. The boys immediately found some rocks to skip and I felt bad for the swimmers that had to evacuate the area for their own safety. I'm sure they were just about done swimming anyway.

Ethan shows perfect rock-skipping form

Ethan was quite good at skipping rocks and often got 5 or 6 skips from each throw. Isaac is still trying to perfect his rock skipping, but I have no doubt that he'll get it one day soon.

Remember how I mentioned "glitter toes" yesterday? Well, here they are, soaking in the cool, clear water at Jenny Lake. So pretty. So sparkly.

All four boys got their junior ranger badges. This was a first for Ethan and second for Robert. Jonah and Isaac are up to 7 badges! After the oath-taking, we hopped in the car and drove into Yellowstone. We stopped at the Old Faithful Inn and picked up some sandwiches from the deli and found some benches on the deck to watch the geyser vent steam while we ate.

The eruption wasn't expected until after 9pm and we were tired and eager to get to our hotel, so we left before the show. It would have been dark by 9 anyway, so it's just as well. (Spoiler alert: we saw it erupt two times the next day.)

Such high hopes for the boys sleeping in one queen bed together

Speaking of the hotel, they didn't have a roll-away bed, so all three boys had to sleep together in a queen. In the old days this would not have been a big deal. But the boys are getting bigger, and Jonah does have a habit of swinging his leg over whomever he is sleeping next to as well as shouting or screaming in his sleep.

So about 4 am, Ethan had had it and I switched places with him. Sleeping next to Jonah was a challenge, but much easier than listening to Ethan complain that Jonah was touching him. (Of course he's touching you! There are three big kids in a queen bed you goof!)

Salt Lake and Olympic Villiage

2011-08-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

I took this slightly crooked picture of the Salt Lake Temple on Tuesday. It was a lovely day and we enjoyed walking around Temple Square in the morning, although we felt a little gouged at the Conference Center parking garage ($10!). Still, it was a good visit.

I explained the mirror effect of this reflecting pool to the kids and Jonah and Isaac immediately wanted their pictures taken with their reflections.

I usually had to take a few pictures to get one good one due to the punching, kicking, and shoving that went on as part of the boys having to stand next to each other for more than five seconds. In the tabernacle, Jonah leaned so far into Ethan when I asked him to scoot a little closer that Robert and Isaac nearly fell over. Isaac had to express his displeasure in this shot.

Meanwhile, some delightful sister missionaries were teaching a group of women about the Tabernacle's history a few rows away. I almost felt their silent prayer for "those unruly children" to leave so they wouldn't ruin the reverent spirit of the building. We left.

Moments before this picture was taken, Isaac sucker-punched Ethan in the gut. One dad in the room thought it was pretty funny.

I recalled the first time I saw this statue when I was ten years old. My dad told me that Jesus was at the top of the spiral walkway and my family reverently ascended. I knew Salt Lake was a special place and if Jesus was going to live anywhere, it would probably be at temple square. I walked with trepidation: was I ready to face my Savior? Had I lived the kind of life He would want me to live? I was overwhelmed but continued upwards. I supposed that if I hadn't done everything as I should have, it was too late to worry about it now.

And then I saw the statue and not the real Jesus. I was quite relieved.

Guess what? Salt Lake has Rubio's so we went there for lunch. But you know what? It just wasn't the same. It was just as tasty, but I think the fact that Rubio's was such a San Diego specialty gave the food an extra special flavor. Now that I know they've got restaurants all over Utah, Rubio's is kind of "meh."

After lunch we drove towards Park City and the Olympic Village. We watched as freestyle ski jumpers took jumps and did flips into a pool as part of their summer training. There was a fun museum about the history of skiing in Utah and then each of the boys wen downhill skiing. Kind of.

I thought these pictures were hilarious!

Robert had to hold up Isaac for this one, so I didn't make him do a second shot.

I told Robert to look like he was serious about his downhill skiing.

Finally, we took the boys over to the zip line and alpine slide. They had a blast and I remembered midway through the video that I can't tape in "portrait." Oops!

Back at Rick and Betsy's house, we had delicious pulled pork sandwiches for dinner and I got glitter toes from her sister Stephanie later that night. I can't stop looking at them. Maybe because they are so amazingly sparkly and beautiful. Pictures of the tootsies tomorrow!

The Alma Mater

2011-08-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

Monday we hit up BYU and took one of those golf cart tours around campus with the kids. I always wondered who got to take those tours, and now I know. There were several fun revelations in the alumni house. One was this portrait of my namesake. Another was seeing a former friend in a video presentation about the work BYU is doing with the Didymus Papyrus.

We had lunch at the Cougar Eat, but alas, there is no more BYU Food Services there and no more Taco Salads. Instead, the boys got some Taco Bell and Robert and I shared a chicken teriyaki rice bowl. Later we hit the candy counter, then went downstairs to the bowling alley. Several years back Ethan was trés impressed with the fact that BYU had it's very own bowling alley. He declared then and there that BYU was the school for him.

We didn't bowl, but we did see this old pin on sale for $3. I thought it was cool, but would the boys?

Yes! They would! They each wanted to take turns carrying it around campus. When we got back to Rick and Betsy's house, Jonah cut up little pieces of paper to make the bowling pin a hat, bow tie, sheriff's badge and arms.

We headed over to Cougar Stadium, I mean, Lavell Edwards Stadium to see if we could get a peek inside. Jonah was serious about the authenticity of this photo and insisted on putting his hand on this lava hot cougar statue. Even Robert kept a one inch distance from the surface.

Good luck! The stadium was open, so we walked in and sat down on this lava hot blue seats and pretended to be watching a game. BYU won, of course.

Hopefully the boys had a great time at BYU and will work hard in school so they can be students here one day if they want. As for me, coming back to BYU just made me feel old and a little depressed. Mostly because I realize I could have taken advantage of so much more the school had to offer while I was a student. Sigh.

Moving On

2011-08-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

On our last day at Grammy and Poppy's we went to church.

After church we raced around to get our car packed so we could make the trip North to Betsy's house in Draper. Grammy threw lunch together in record time and I got the kids out of their church clothes and finished packing the bags. Robert was just getting ready to load the car when I decided to check my correspondence with Betsy one more time.

Oops. She was expecting us on Monday night, not Sunday night. I'd given her the wrong dates.

So we waited, wondering if we should spend one more night in Ivins, try and get a hotel in Utah Valley, or just hope Betsy was home when we showed up at her door. But, with the magic of cell phones and e-mail, everything worked out and here we are, one day early, at Betsy and Rick's house. Yay!

Now, if we could just figure out how to stay busy in Utah and Salt Lake Valley for a couple days.

In Which Change Does Not Equal Rest

2011-08-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

Some doofus once said that a change is as good as a rest. For the last three weeks we've been living out of duffel bags, off of happy meals, and sleeping in six different places. Tomorrow we are onto place number seven. It's been nothing but change, change, change and I'm exhausted.

But, it's a good exhaustion. Sort of. We've seen amazing and things, been to exciting places, and spent way too many hours with each other in the car and so far, survived. See? That's good, right?

Today we slept in and the boys played way too many hours on their DS's and watched too much Sponge Bob. We convinced them to take a break to go bowling (two games--Isaac won the second with 80 points!) and then swimming. Afterwards, we all went out to dinner at Marv's or Vern's, or something like that. It was a 50's inspired burger joint with lots of Elvis music and delicious fries. And fry sauce--a Utah creation I can very much get behind.

So we are doing laundry and packing and getting ready to say goodbye to Grammy and Poppy for a while. It's been fun. And hot. But mostly fun.

Bryce is Nice

2011-08-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

Three National Parks in five days. I'm exhausted. For today's visit to Bryce Canyon, the part of Ethan will be played by Grammy. Ethan was not in the mood for another long drive and hot walk, and Grammy had been wanting to visit Bryce Canyon ever since a family drive through when she was 12-years-old. She was so impressed with Bryce that she chose to go there for her honeymoon. However, when she and my dad arrived in April of 1967, they found that Bryce was closed, and had to turn around and go home.

We learned that Bryce is not really a canyon at all because there is no river carving out these odd standing fins and pillars (called hoodoos). Instead, the shapes are formed in the soft limestone by water freezing and defrosting over and over until the rocks split and drop off, leaving a fascinating geography.

Jonah and Isaac earned their sixth Junior Ranger badge and this time, were joined in the oath taking by a new Junior Ranger: their dad. Robert has enjoyed working on this program with the boys and finally decided to do it himself after seeing an adult woman earn her Junior Ranger at the Grand Canyon.

At the risk of repeating myself, these pictures just don't do Bryce Canyon justice. So beautiful, so fragile, and rapidly changing.

Here's Grammy with Jonah and Isaac. They were happy campers until they were done with their ranger program. Then they were ready to go home. But, we drove three hours to get to Bryce and weren't going to stop with out a little hiking.

And so we did a very little hiking. Everyone was getting tired and dinner at Cafe Rio back in St. George sounded oh-so-good. So we watched (or in my case, fell asleep to) an orientation video in the Visitor's Center, then got in the car and drove home.

Well, not straight home. We stopped first at the Ruby General Store and got some liquid pick-me-up in the form of diet Dr. Pepper. Robert took a couple sips and that kept him awake to drive the whole three hour trip. I drank the rest of the bottle and that kept me awake to make sure that he stayed awake.

Then we stopped to see these fun old trucks near the north entrance of Zion's National Park. It was a quick little diversion with a trip into the gift shop where we looked at, but didn't buy $5 t-shirts, polished rocks, and beautiful Roland Lee artwork.

I'm so glad we will have a few days off before we hit another National Park. Taking in all this magnificence and beauty is tiring.

Jumping and GG

2011-08-18T21:20:00.000-07:00

The kids got out some of their energy at this trampoline/inflatable place. I believe it was called Antigravity, or something like that. They had a great time jumping around for an hour, but Ethan could have jumped for an hour more and was not ready to leave.

After lunch at Jimmy John's--yum--we went to visit GG. We had a short visit and the boys got to play her electric organ and try to solve her Rubik's Cube. Jonah exclaimed, "I could stay here all day!"

After dinner we all went over to swim at the neighborhood pool. It was over 100 degrees until the sun went down and the water felt so good. It's 10:30 pm now and has cooled to 82.

I'm going to join Robert outside to look at the stars and maybe see some lightning.

How Grand!

2011-08-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

Isaac and Brighty

We got up early this morning and drove about three hours to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. The drive was beautiful and a big surprise was the green pine trees that got thicker and taller as we neared our destination. I guess we thought it would be kind of barren and deserty.

We started out with a Ranger talk for--you guessed it--Jonah and Isaac's Junior Ranger program. It was a short presentation about Brighty, a little burro who was a popular and much loved part of the early days of the Grand Canyon. There is even a kid's book by Marguerite Henry titled, Brighty of the Grand Canyon that tells all about him. I went right to the book store and picked up my own copy.

The first hike we took was the Bright Angel's Point trail, a one mile walk out to a beautiful overlook. There were some pretty steep hills and the 8000 feet elevation was not kind to my lungs. Thank goodness I'm in such fine shape or I would have really struggled!

No picture can do justice to the scenery, but this one came close. How many family pictures do we have from this trip? This might be the first one. Thanks to the stranger who offered to take our family picture.

Bright Angel's Point

The thing I loved about the North Rim was that it wasn't crowded. There were plenty of people there, but nowhere near the numbers we found at Yosemite or Zion. The stunning lodge was surrounded by small log cabin rentals complete with rocking chairs on the front porches. Some even had a front row view of the canyon. I bet sunrise is spectacular.

Looking out from Point Royal

Our second hike was Point Royal which required a 45 minute drive down a winding road to access the .6 mile, flat trail. In other words, hike easy, drive hard. And the drive was hard only because the boys were complaining slash threatening to throw up slash whining.

But the view from Point Royal was completely different than the one from Bright Angel's Point. We could actually glimpse a small section of the Colorado river.

Angel's Window

On the way back to the car, Robert, Ethan and Jonah took a short detour to Angel's Window overlook. (See picture above) Isaac was ready to be done with the Grand Canyon Adventure, so I left Robert with the boys and worried the whole time we were apart that they'd all fallen over the edge. When I saw pictures like this, I'm glad I wasn't with them. I probably would have had a heart attack watching Jonah lean up against the railing.

Oops

2011-08-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

Today the boys got to ride Poppy's 4-wheeler. Isaac was first. He didn't have the turning radius he thought it did and ran right into our parked van. He was going pretty slow and was not hurt at all, although I think he felt pretty bad when he saw the marks on the Honda's bumper.

Poppy took some wax and rubbed it right out though, so all is good.

I mean, the most important thing is that Isaac was not hurt, right?

All the other boys had a turn to ride and I'm sure I'll get some pictures of them zooming around on another day.

Hiking is Hot

2011-08-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

You know what's really fun to do when it's 104 outside? I bet you didn't say "go on a hike."

But we're on a schedule here people. We've got places to see and teenagers to disappoint. Onward!

Today's stop was Zion's National Park. It was amazing and beautiful and no photograph I took could possibly capture the awe these red sandstone mountains and cliffs inspire. But, that didn't stop me from trying.

We decided to take a short hike to the Emerald Pools. Now, "Emerald Pools" sound beautiful and exotic and refreshing. Actually, they were slimy moss-filled water holes. But they were definitely emerald in color. The hike was easy, but did I mention it was hot? And did I suggest that maybe one of our company wasn't fully on board with the adventure?

The path took us under a couple small waterfalls that lightly sprayed us with water as we walked by. So refreshing--I could have stood all day in the spray. At the end of the one mile trail, we took the short path down to the Lower Emerald pool. We all dipped our feet, except Ethan. Who was . . . well . . . not quite on board with the adventure and fairly determined to have a miserable time.

Here he is, in the photo that will haunt him for the next 15 years. See that "headband" he's wearing? Well, take note young ladies, because this enterprising young lad removed his socks (the ones he'd just hiked a mile in) and dipped them in the cool water. Then he tied them together to make a headband. That's right. A sock headband.

I don't know if this is something he learned at Scout Camp, but I was conflicted about whether to be impressed with his ingenuity, or disgusted by the fact that every time he got hot, he'd squeeze some liquid out of the sock headband and let it trickle down his face.

Just three years and he'll be available for dating, girls.

Jonah spotted a little frog down in the pool and it hopped onto his hand. He returned it to its habitat and continued to look for more interesting things to see. He also spotted a lizard and little fish.

Both Jonah and Isaac took their Junior Ranger duties very seriously and helped out Ranger Sarah with her demonstration on how the different layers in the rock are formed. They got to help make her geological "cake" as part of her presentation.

We stopped by one of the several rock shops on the way home and Jonah and Isaac picked out some rocks before we finally headed back to Grammy and Poppy's house--the air conditioner blowing full blast all the way home.

104 degrees! But it's a dry heat.

Driving Day

2011-08-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

They put the dvd player in between them so they could both see. Ethan has his own.

We watched the temperature rise from the 70's to the 100's as we drove from San Diego to Ivins, Utah. The boys watched Sponge Bob: The Movie, and Robert and I watched the scenery. There wasn't much until we got to Las Vegas. Then we saw a car engulfed in flames on the side of I-15 and three crazy crashes. Once we were past "The Strip," however, traffic eased and drivers seemed to keep their eyes more on the road.

We were disappointed to learn that there is no such thing as a $6.99 all-you-can-eat prime rib buffet. There is, however, a $49 all-you-can-eat buffet at The Bellagio. We did not stop.

If I can stay awake, I'll sit out side and watch for meteors later this evening. Friday and Saturday were the big viewing days, but there might be a few meteors still left for viewing tonight. It's 10pm and still pretty hot outside.

Rubio's, I Will Miss You the Very Most

2011-08-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

We started the day at Balboa Park with a one hour + botanical tour of palm trees. It was interesting to me, but not to three little boys. So I took them to look at koi in the pond. I could have gone for an architectural tour as the buildings at Balboa Park were stunning. Maybe another day.

We found a science museum in the park and our OMSI pass worked for free entry. The boys had a great time in the hurricane simulation chamber (two dollars) and building structures out of these little planks. I wish we had a couple thousand of these at our house.

After lunch we headed over to Point Loma and checked out some tide pools and did a little exploring around the cliffs. The boys constantly freaked me out by walking out to the edge of the drop-offs.

Just a short drive past Point Loma is the Cabrillo National Monument where Jonah and Isaac became Junior Rangers for the third time. So this Cabrillo guy "discovered" California. Later he died from either a broken arm or broken leg in New Spain. Or something like that.

The view from the National Monument was pretty great, but would have been better with out the fog obscuring the mountains. Still, we could kind of see Mexico.

We headed back to Old Town to tour the Whaley House. It's the most haunted house in North America. Only Ethan and I were brave enough to try the tour. It was interesting and creepy as the guide shared lots of details about people who died at the house. Evidently the house is also haunted by people who didn't die a the house.

Neither Ethan or I saw any ghosts on our tour, but there is a Facebook page where visitors post photos of ghosts they've taken. Most of the ghosts are simply "orbs" which are paranormal spots on the camera lens. At least that's what they look like to me.

Finally, we had dinner at Rubio's. I will miss Rubio's when we leave San Diego. In this picture, Ethan shows us his forehead tan line and his tongue while at Rubio's.

Goodbye Anaheim, Hello San Diego!

2011-08-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

Did some laundry, swam in the hotel pool (kids, not me), hopped in the car and drove south to San Diego. Our first stop, after lunch and the new hotel, was the Mormon Battalion. What an amazing presentation! I highly recommend it if you are in the San Diego area.

Isaac was a reluctant volunteer to dress up as a Mormon soldier. The soldiers chose to forgo the uniform and send the $40 allowance back to their families en route to the Salt Lake Valley. But they did have a few distinguishing items to wear and carry, including a nearly 5-foot-tall flintlock rifle. Once Jonah and Ethan saw that Isaac got to carry it, they wished they'd been the ones to volunteer.

After the show, we got an old-timey picture taken and emailed to us, we headed out to pan for gold. This part of the tour was actually a representation of what the members of the Mormon Battalion did when they journeyed through Northern California and into the Salt Lake Valley. Several stayed at Sutter's Mill and found a little of the shiny stuff. The boys loved it and actually found several chunks of iron pyrite in the flume, which you'd guess from their excitement was the genuine article.

We walked over to Old Town. I wanted to tour the Whaley House, which is haunted, but it was not to be. Mostly because it would have been $35 for a guided tour and after Disneyland, we're looking for cheaper activities.

Everything is very "Day of the Dead" in Old Town. But when you aren't looking at flowery skeletons, it's all paper flowers, tooled leather purses, velvety sombreros, embroidered shirts and skirts, and brightly painted pottery and tiles. So pretty and colorful, but also so much like I remember Mexico from when I was five. In fact, I found giant paper flowers identical to the ones my mom had in a huge ceramic pot by the fireplace for years.

We listened to a mariachi band, had burritos, enchiladas and tacos seated outdoors and Jonah and Ethan both ate these innocent looking banana peppers.

Jonah ate his because he thought it would be no big deal. I thought the poor kid was going to self-combust. His eyes were watering and his face was red and his feet were tapping in a mad panic. Ethan ate his just to show that he was tougher than his little brother. I took a picture as he was grabbing his burning lips, but it turned out blurry because he was also rocking back forth in agony.

Disney Day Three: Overheard at Disneyland

2011-08-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

It it exhausting trying to get our money's worth out of Disneyland. We are up at the crack of dawn and don't leave the park until we're all walking dead. Well, almost. I just don't have it in me, creatively, to come up with something clever to write at 11:30 at night when my feet are aching and my hips remind me that I'm not 21 anymore.

So on Thursday, I thought I'd share a few of the things I heard at Disneyland. We arrived at 6:50 am and left the park at 11pm. That's just over 16 hours of Disneyland. Robert's step counter showed 25,800 steps. It was a very. long. day.

"Why couldn't we get a 5-day pass?" Ethan, around 8:30am

"I've done everything I wanted to do." Isaac, at 9:37am

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your conductor speaking. A Chihuahua has gotten loose from its owner and is running along the tracks in New Orleans' Square and Rivers of America. I wish I was joking."

"Robert, I don't have my phone. If you get this message, meet me in front of Space Mountain." Afton, from a pay phone (yes they still have them and it cost $3.40 for the phone call). Unfortunately, Afton had dialed the wrong number.

"Mom, Isaac is trying to lick me." Jonah, in line at Midway Mania

"Mom, Jonah's touching me. He's touching me again. And again. And again. And again!" Isaac, in line at Midway Mania

"Take the picture anyway. I want to prove that I went on California Screamin'." Jonah, (top left seat, that's his forehead with a blue hood covering his hair.)

"For our grand finale, we have combined Nutcracker and River Dance. We call it, River Nut." Billy Hill and the Hillbillies, the Golden Horseshoe.

"Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy." Darth Vader

"Strike yer colors ye brazen wench! No need to expose your superstructure!" Pirate

"Hug Train, coming into the station." Ethan, hugging Robert

"My goal is to have a working prototype by November." guy to girlfriend, on tram from parking garage

"Over there's the kitchen for 33." guy to girlfriend, in Pirates of the Caribbean, sharing some insider tips from his stint as a Disneyland employee.

"Mom, thanks for bringing us to Disneyland." Ethan, 10:57pm

Disney Day Two

2011-08-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

We spent Wednesday at California Adventure. And yes, we were matchy-matchy. I felt like a dork, but it sure made it easy to spot the kids when we got separated.

This is not a picture of Midway Mania

Midway Mania, the Toy Story ride, was by far my favorite. I wish I could have gone on it 4 times in a row, but the line took 40 minutes or longer. That's a lot of standing. And do you know what my boys do when they stand in line? They wrestle each other. It's true. They can't keep their hands off each other and before you know it they have each other in headlocks. Good times.

We headed back to Disneyland for a few hours and the boys found the Penny Arcade. It's not really an arcade like we know them today. Instead of video games, it has four or five hand crank, short movie players. For one penny, you can watch a 30-60 second movie (depending on how fast you use that hand crank.) The kids were literally laughing out loud as they turned the crank and looked through the viewfinder at the old-time, black and white shows. What a bargain.

Later, we went back to California Adventure to watch The World of Color show. The above picture was not part of The World of Color show, but I thought it looked pretty cool.

This picture was part of The World of Color show. It was a really cool production and this was one of the calmer moments in the show.

Disney: Day One

2011-08-10T07:07:00.000-07:00

It's 11:30 pm and we just got back from Disneyland. The boys crashed, literally, into their beds and immediately fell asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake them up to change into pajamas or brush their teeth, so they will sleep as they are.

We went on every major ride in Disneyland at least once except Big Thunder Railroad. We saw Fantasmic, the fireworks show and even worked in a trip to Baskin Robbins for soft serve and a swim in the hotel pool. I'm not sure how my fingers are finding the energy to type.

Please enjoy this video of the boys earning some beads in New Orleans Square this morning after riding Pirates of the Caribbean.

We played hard.

Faces

2011-08-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

Sunday we left Angela's house to head to Southern California. This was the face Jonah and Isaac made as we got ready to drive away. They were pretty sad and for the first 100 miles asked repeatedly when we'd next be able to see their cousins. (No, Jonah is not wearing European man-capris. These are the pants that were too long for him one year ago. He refuses to let me make them into cut-offs, even though the cuff got eaten up by a bike chain and is in shreds.)

These are the faces Jonah and I made going down the first drop in the Atlantis boat ride at SeaWorld this morning. Looking back now, I wonder if I should take Jonah on any more of these kinds of exciting rides. I mean, look at that face! He's clearly terrified. Ethan and Isaac sat in front of us and you can see from Isaac's face he was completely unfazed. Bored even. They wanted $20 for a copy of this picture.

The boys faces showed awe at the rays and sharks that swam by in this walk-through exhibit.

Our faces are wet but happy after the Orca show at SeaWorld. It was our third and final show of the day and at the first two shows we'd been relegated to the nosebleed section and had a hard time seeing or enjoying anything. So for the Orca show, I arrived 45 minutes early with Jonah, Isaac and two churros. Robert and Ethan joined us right before the show started. We sat in the fourth row, solidly in the "soak zone."

I believe Ethan is making a yawning face here. Is he saying that having giant whales soak you with water is boring? Probably. He is a teenager after all.

We finished our day with fish tacos at Rubios in San Diego (or was it La Jolla?) This was the original Rubios location that introduced fish tacos to Southern California. I don't have a picture of my face, but you'll just have to trust me when I say I was quite happy with the meal.

And now we are snug in our hotel in Anaheim and ready to play hard for the next three days. Wish me luck.

All Mine

2011-08-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today we drove through Calaveras County and into Amador County to Gold Country. I can't tell you how disappointed I was that I hadn't prepared a podcast of The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County by Mark Twain for my kids to listen to while we drove through. How cool would that have been?

Ugh. I'm still kicking myself.

Despite my missing a sweet teaching moment, we had a great time at the Sutter Gold Mine. I'm including a link to Sutter Mine even though this is the last week the mine will be open for tours. Evidently, it's being opened back up for gold mining. Which is good because during the tour we saw gold in some of the quartz seams. Exciting!

We all grabbed hard hats and rode a cart down into the mine. And walked around to see some of the different tools used for getting gold. The highlight of the tour--for me, at least--was when the guide asked if anyone knew who invented dynamite. Ethan's hand shot up and he had the answer: Albert Nobel. I was so proud.

After the tour we bought a bag of dirt for $8.50 and the boys got to search for gems. They provided us with a little gem identification card so we'd know what we found. The boys loved this and I think it was the best $8.50 I ever spent.

Jonah got the most gems in his pile of dirt, but the boys ended up splitting their haul, even steven. Everyone was happy.

It was a beautiful day. Hot, but not too hot. Still, I preferred the shade to the full sun for sure. We picnicked, picked some blackberries, and bought a few things at the gift shop. (All items with "Sutter Gold Mine" are 50% off due to the mine tours closing.) It was a great day.

Swimming and Smoke

2011-08-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

We went swimming today. And when I say "we," I mean all of us. Even me. That's right. I. Went. Swimming. It's been years since I've gone swimming. I don't like wearing a swim suit and I don't really like getting wet (unless it's unbearably hot or I'm taking a shower).

But I got a new swim suit for this trip, it's super cute, and I thought I'd put it to use. Plus, Angela jumped into the cool pool and I couldn't let her show me up. So I jumped too. Nothing like a little sibling pressure.

It was a lazy day. We hung out at the pool for several hours, then came home and had dinner. After dinner we went to Loard's Ice Cream for dessert. It was kind of sad because it was so unlike the Loard's of my childhood. The Peter Pan didn't have peppermint ice cream. The whole ice cream parlor didn't even have peppermint ice cream. And there was no candy, and no pink and white upholstered seats.

But it was still good.

After ice cream we went to the fire station to see Uncle Andrew. We were right in the middle of checking out the fire truck and the treadmill when a call came in for a structure fire. We had to hustle out of there and watched as the truck pulled out, sirens blaring, on the way to save the day.

It was exciting. I pictured Andrew hosing down the flames. Maybe hacking through a roof with his axe. Definitely carrying out a cute puppy.

As it turns out, the house fire was actually a backyard barbecue with lots of smoke that was alarming to someone driving by with a cell phone.

So, you know, illusion shattered.

Yosemite

2011-08-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day in Yosemite. Sunny, 86 degrees and crowded. After getting the Junior Ranger booklets for Jonah and Isaac, we headed over to the trails to Vernal Falls. It was a mile and a half to the falls, uphill all the way. The last bit was steps carved into the rock and showered by mist from the falls.

The mist was refreshing, but it made the steps kind of slippery, and they were narrow and steep and there was no guard rail. My sister was hoofing it up with a baby strapped to her chest and I was helping my 5-year-old niece. I was a little nervous about the climb.

So we decided to turn back after we got nice and wet and all got back down safely, which was great. Since three people died falling over Vernal Falls a couple weeks ago and their bodies still haven't been found.

Actual Yosemite is so much more stunning than the pictures make it out to be. I did more looking than photographing today.

p.s. Jonah and Isaac are now Junior Rangers for Yosemite too!

Nintendo Cousins

2011-08-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

When you only see your cousins every three or four years you might find that it takes a while to reacquaint yourselves. Unless you have a Nintendo DS. Then all barriers come down. Everyone is on common ground.

Somehow, Ethan always has someone willing to watch him play

And just to be clear, these are the three boys who sat in the car for seven hours today, playing their DS's and watching videos. And here they are, still sitting and still watching the wretched screen. I think I'm raising a bunch of zombies. Or if they aren't zombies now, they will be soon.

An Afternoon on Endor

2011-08-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

As we drove down the winding road with trees so large they inspired Robert to fall into his Ent impression, I could tell the boys were not yet fully on board with our excursion into Redwood National Park.

"You know," I said, "this is where George Lucas filmed the Endor scenes from Return of the Jedi. Doesn't it look familiar? Can't you just see the speeder bikes weaving in and out of the trees?"

And what do you know? They could! Suddenly they were interested in this stunning, almost otherworldly scene in Northern California. I explained that the Redwood National Park was thousands of acres in size and that the movie scenes weren't necessarily filmed exactly where we were. But I told them it was probably some place just like this!

Evidently I was inspired to make that Star Wars connection because, as it turns out, according to the park ranger, the speeder bike scenes from Return of the Jedi that did not have explosions were filmed in Stout Grove, the exact spot we visited.

The size of these trees was overwhelming. Even the stumps were breath taking. Jonah was trying to use his DSi to take a picture of the stump himself, so was not super cooperative for my picture. We had to stop in the middle of the road as we drove into the grove and cars were backing up behind us. Otherwise I would have made him smile.

I took way too many pictures like the one above, even though they all ended up looking the same. I couldn't get over the size and the beauty.

Here, Robert declares his affection for the Ent, I mean tree--the biggest one he'd ever seen.

Jonah and Isaac were excited to work on their Junior Ranger booklets in order to receive their Junior Ranger badges. I suggested several times they get their noses out of the booklets and focus on the beauty around them, but they were determined to earn their badges. Later, back at the Ranger Station, they took the oath (no kidding) and became official Junior Rangers.

The Stout Grove loop took approximately 45 minutes to complete. That included stopping at every single tree to take a picture. Or ten. Even the fallen trees were inspiring. Without all the photography it probably would have taken ten minutes or less.

Here's a fallen tree whose root system was massive. Jonah climbed up to the center for a picture. Many of these trees were 1000 to 3000 years old. This was surely one of the oldies.

What can I say?

Did I mention I took a lot of pictures?

On our way down the coast to our Hotel we stopped at this lookout spot where the Klamath River runs into the Pacific. It was windy and cool. About 60 degrees. I couldn't wait to get back into the warm car.

Here are my cute boys, thrilled after an afternoon on Endor.

How to Be a boy: Keeping it Interesting

2011-07-30T16:18:00.000-07:00

Robert took the boys camping last night. I took the opportunity to reclaim my house and do a little cleaning while they were gone. When I say "a little" what I mean is that I've been cleaning almost non-stop since they left. I only stopped to have a lovely, lovely dinner and general good time with my dear friend. But then I was right back to it.

The boys will be home in 30 minutes, and so, as I walked past Ethan's room I paused to admire the results of my hard work. The order, the cleanliness, the peace--it was wonderful.

But wait! What's that?

I'd missed a sock. One sock.

And so my advice to you mothers who are obsessive compulsive enough to clean your teenager's room is this: After you've looked on the floor, under the bed, behind the dresser, and even in the drawers for balled-up, dirty clothes, don't forget to also look UP. Because boys will find all sorts of places to throw their dirty clothes.

As long as it's not in the actual laundry hamper.

That's how they keep it interesting.

This Thing Is So Over

2011-07-28T20:16:00.000-07:00

This summer I've been enthusiastically participating in my library's adult summer reading program (why let the kids have all the fun and win all the prizes). So far I've won two weekly drawings (I get entered with every book review I turn in) and now am the proud owner of a tote bag, a t-shirt and a $20 gift certificate to Chen's Dynasty Chinese restaurant. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for one of the big prizes at the end of the summer, like the Kindle or Powell's gift card.

So I haven't blogged much. But now I have some stuff to say. Sorry if I offend anyone. Feel free to argue with me in the comments if you feel so inclined.

That thing where you make a heart with your hands is so over. It was cute at one time but now it's just old. Just stop taking pictures of yourself doing it, please.

Also, I'm already getting tired of the feather hair trend. I don't think it's totally over, but get yours quick because the trend will probably be over before that poor rooster tail falls out of your hair.

And maxi dresses! Do you get the feeling we will all be looking at pictures of ourselves wearing these things in like 5 years and cringe, wondering what we were thinking?

And Kim Kardashian. Does anyone know how much longer before her 15 minutes are up? I read the other day that she became famous for (and I quote) "being friends with Paris Hilton and having a sex tape scandal." Why are people paying attention to her?

Bacon is so over. It's delicious, but over. The bacon scented candles and aftershave and lip balm and tendency to talk about bacon like it's a drug . . . over, over, over. (My guess is peanut butter and jelly will be the next big food trend.)

I would love to hear what you think is over. Or you can just tell me how wrong I am. Just don't send me a picture of yourself making that little heart and thing with your hands. Please.

And here's a clip from Portlandia about stuff that is over.

Things that Squik Me Out

2011-07-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

I finished reading Deanna Raybourn's 5th installment of the Lady Julia Grey Mystery series and entered the general malaise that follows finishing a delightfully engaging book--where I feel like I've just said goodbye to my good friends and won't see them for a long time.

To ease my malaise I went to Deanna Raybourn's blog to see if it was as clever as I'd remembered. It was.

Finally, I saw her post about things that "squick" her out. Squick. I'd never heard that word before, but knew exactly what it meant. I'd been thinking about doing a "bandwagons I won't be getting on" post, but will follow Ms. Raybourn's lead and list a few things that squick me out.

1. Cat food commercials--the ones with the wet, fancy cat food that they serve on people plates with a garnish.

2. Latex balloons. The smell, the feel, the sound. Just, yuck.

3. Bird feathers. I feel like they're riddled with disease. Even if they're not. My boys bring lots into the house thanks to our next door neighbor, the waterfowl hunter.

4. Jeggings.

5. Crazy crooked teeth--the kind that makes you wonder how people eat. Except if it's my crooked tooth, which I'm hoping to use to scare small children when I get old and cranky.

That's a pretty sad little list. Or maybe I just have a strong constitution? Cleaning up after boys for thirteen years must have steeled me to many disgusting things.

Now it's your turn. What squicks you out? Leave me a comment.

Bombs Bursting in Air

2011-07-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

I really took this picture. I know! I can't believe it either.

We forced the kids, complaining and sulking and whining, into the car and drove downtown to see Portland's fireworks display last night.

"Why are you making us do this?" They asked. "Can't you just leave me here? I don't want to go." We drove down the street just as friends and families around the neighborhood were getting set for their big street firework displays.

I have to admit, it's part of the Fourth of July celebration I love the most--sitting out with neighbors and chatting while the kids get absolutely freaked out with pyromania. Good times. I didn't really want to leave either.

But when the first blasts lit up the barge in the Willamette River as they rocketed into the sky, I was a not a little awe struck. It was super awesome. And loud. Moments before the fireworks started, we could hear the crowd who was watching from across the river at the Blues Festival at Tom McCall Waterfront Park start to cheer. I grabbed Isaac and lifted him up so he could see.

Not the best picture--Isaac and Jonah watch the fireworks

We arrived about 45 minutes before the show began and the East Bank Esplanade was packed. Somehow, we managed to worm our way in for a good viewing spot. On the way back to the car after the 30 minute show, the boys half-heartedly admitted that it was kind of cool and they were a little glad we came.

It only took us 50 minutes to get home, which is about 30 minutes longer than normal. I think we can check this off the bucket list and return to our humble street show with a Costco pack of fireworks next year.

The Jell-o Project: Strawberry Pie and Fourth of July

2011-07-04T16:51:00.000-07:00

And the winner for best use of Jell-o in a dessert is . . . Strawberry pie.

There is only one member of the family who passes on my strawberry pie, and that is my fruit-despising son Isaac. I am comforted only by the fact that one day his taste buds will mature and he will regret the years spent spurning this spectacular fruit.

Strawberry pie makes a great dessert, a fine lunch and a brilliant breakfast. These fruit gems don't last long, so you need to ingest them while you can before they're gone. Here's how to make my strawberry pie. Okay, it's really my mom's strawberry pie, but I've made this pie so many times this summer, I think I can claim it as my own.

One pie crust
4-5 cups of in-season, local strawberries, washed and hulled
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
3 TB corn starch
3 TB strawberry Jell-o
2 TB corn syrup

Bake crust while you prepare strawberries by washing and hulling. In a saucepan, combine sugar, water and cornstarch and stir over medium high heat until thickened and boiling. Remove from heat and add 3 TB strawberry Jell-o and 2 TB corn syrup. Stir to combine. Cool slightly, then mix in strawberries to coat and dump strawberries and sauce combo into pie crust and refrigerate for about 3 hours until set. Serve with whipped cream. NOT COOL WHIP.

Make this pie during strawberry season. That means June if you live in Oregon. Please do not make this pie in November with rock-hard strawberries that were grown in a lab in Argentina. The pie will not be the same. Use berries that are local, that you pick yourself or get from a fruit stand, and that are so juicy and fragile they will only last a day or two in the fridge before going bad.

I made this particular pie with berries from Mark's NW Fresh Produce where I won a whole flat in their weekly Facebook drawing. So. Awesome.

I love strawberries.

How to Be A Boy: The Quiet Game

2011-07-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

When you are riding in the car, a good game to play is "The Quiet Game." It's especially great if your little brothers' gibber jabber is driving you nuts. Here's how you play:

Ethan: Let's play the quiet game. Starting . . . NOW! (Two seconds later) Pause--there is no touching anyone else--un-pause. (Two seconds later) Pause--no coughing or laughing either--un-pause. (Three seconds later) Pause--and no more pausing allowed--un-pause.

Isaac: (Ten seconds later) Hey Jonah, can I borrow your . . . .

Ethan: Isaac loses!

Isaac: No fair! I didn't even know we were playing! Mom!!!!

Ethan: Okay, we'll start again. Starting . . . NOW!

(The view in the rear-view mirror shows three boys sticking their tongues out and making other funny faces at each other. They wave their arms inches from each other's faces, but without actually touching. They bob and weave and do everything they can without making a noise.)

Jonah: (13 seconds later, huffs audibly)

Ethan: Jonah loses!

Jonah: That's not fair! I was just breathing. Mom!!!!!

Ethan: Okay, okay. We can play again.

And the quiet game continues. Somehow, mom has found her happy place and hasn't crashed the car in a fit of insanity.

In Which I Have a Pop Tart Paradigm Shift

2011-06-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

I always have a twinge of guilt when I put Pop Tarts in the cart at the grocery store. At 200 calories each (my kids always eat 2 for breakfast) no slick slogan like "baked with real fruit" is going to convince me these pastries are a healthy part of any meal. But they're easy and they're fast and so every once in a while, I buy them for my kids.

I wallowed in guilt as my 9 year old toasted his Pop Tarts this morning. Alright, I didn't really wallow, but I didn't feel super great. Until I saw this Pop Tart recipe on the back of the Pop Tart box.

That's right. Pop Tarts have recipes. Evidently there is something you can do with a Pop Tart to make it even more calorie and fat laden than it already is. A recipe. It's on the inside of the box. Here's what it says:

Fan Fueling Crunchy PB&J Bars

1/4 cup marshmallow cream
4 Kellogg's Pop Tarts Frosted Strawberry toaster pastries
4 teaspoons creamy peanut butter
3/4 cup Kellogg's Crispix cereal
3 tablespoons candy-coated chocolate pieces (a.k.a. M&M's)

Directions
1. Spread marshmallow creame on Kellogg's Pop Tarts. Dot with peanut butter. Place on baking sheet lined with foil. Bake at 350 for 1 to 2 minutes or until marshmallow creme begins to melt. Remove from oven. Carefully swirl marshmallow creme and peanut butter over tops of toaster pastries.

2. Sprinkle Kellogg's Crispix cereal and chocolate pieces on top. Bake at 350 for 2 minutes more. Carefully transfer to wire rack. Cool at least 20 minutes. Cut each toaster pastry into halves.

I'm not quite sure what to say about this concoction that must cool for 20 minutes.

Oh, wait. Yes I am.

Can I get a side of diabetes with that?

This recipe makes plain Pop Tarts seem almost healthy and by the transitive property, it makes me seem like not the worst mom ever. Yay!

In Which I Ask My Kids To Go With Me To the Post Office

2011-06-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

I had to run to the post office one Saturday morning so I asked if any of my three boys wanted to go along. None did. In fact, one even looked at me like I might be crazy--as if he was thinking, why would I want to go to the post office? I don't have anything to mail.

It was an instinctive request--borne of years of being invited by my father to go to the post office with him--and it wasn't until I was on my way that I realized the irony of it.

So I drove to the post office alone. I stood in line alone, completed my transaction alone, and drove home alone. All the while I thought about what might have been if one of my boys had been with me. There would be time to talk. Time to listen. Time to just be together. But the opportunity was lost.

It wasn't as sad as I'm making it sound, but I'm sure I could find a little sweet violin music to induce a tear or two, dear reader. Still, I wouldn't have minded having a buddy along with me that morning.

Instead of spending time with a child that morning, I thought of my own dad. Not only did he often ask me to accompany him to the post office, but on occasion, I got an invite to the hardware store. On Saturday mornings he asked if I'd like to help him wash his car. This required waking up earlier than I wanted and going outside when it was cooler than I liked. But I'd get up anyway and help wash and then dry the car with a wet leather chamois that seemed to leave more water than it picked up.

Each of these activities was a chance for me to spend time with my dad. They were mostly spontaneous and never fancy. I don't remember what we talked about, just that we spent time together.

Just me and my dad.

And while I wish my kids got that, and wanted to go to the post office with me, I'm glad that I took the opportunity to go to the post office with my dad.

But most of all I'm glad that whenever I visit, my dad still asks me to go to the post office with him.

The Jell-o Project: Cherry Chiffon and Writer's Block

2011-05-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

I was happy to bring my Cherry Chiffon Jell-o mold to the Beehive Daddy-Daughter Dinner Tuesday night. I was even happier to have it described as "one of Afton's famous Jell-os." But I was thrilled that it was gobbled up. Some even went back for seconds.

And now I find myself at a loss for words. What is there to say about Jell-o when there are no complaints? No looks of disgust or pleas for mercy? I'm so confused.

It was easy to make and everyone liked it. How boring.

In Which I Ask Myself How Much Longer I Have To Do This

2011-05-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Give me a toilet to clean any day but please don't make me figure out what's for dinner.

Recently, coming up with a weekly or even daily menu has been like torture. I am completely uninspired when it comes to dinner. Most of the time the kids complain about what I have made, unless it's chicken nuggets and fries. Or breakfast for dinner, which we have about once a week. And new recipes don't help because it takes longer to make something for the first time than it does to make something I've made a million times.

And my goal is to spend as little time as possible on meals. I find no joy in preparing or eating them. It's just another thing to do so we don't all, you know, starve to death.

It's not as if my family is a bunch of ingrates. They're not. In fact there have been several meals recently that have earned reviews like, "you make the best steak ever mom." And it makes me feel good, but it doesn't make me feel motivated or excited to make more meals.

It's like I have dinner depression.

So here I sit with a blank grocery list in front of me and an empty fridge and I'm stuck. What do I make for dinner for the next few days? What should I buy at the grocery store. Milk, eggs, cheese, bread are obvious because we are completely out of those. And peanut M&M's. I'm out of those too.

And the grocery list is just mocking me and I hate it.

How much longer do I have to do this?

Stuff You Should Know

2011-05-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

You should know that I've been busy. Not so busy that I haven't had time to read books, keep up on the laundry, work on the garden, exercise, and bake cookies. I wrote 2 articles for Vancouver Family Magazine (for the June 2011 issue), taught a class on summer reading with kids, and am currently preparing a 45 minute spiritual lesson for Girl's Camp--which I will be attending--in 5 weeks. Of course I'm still working on my middle grade manuscript and critiquing other manuscripts and submitting both to my writing group every two weeks. And I've been volunteering at school too.

And of course I've spent a little time worrying about the last day of school. How could it have come so quickly? I'm not ready to give up the ordered routine of school.

Oh, and I got a little part time job.

You should also know that I've been sewing purses for my Etsy shop, Handbag Chronicles (tell all your friends.) The picture above shows the start of five new Lickety Split Mini bags and represents about six hours of work. Crazy, no? It doesn't look like much and I still have a long way to go before they are ready to sell.

You should know that I realize I've neglected my blog and that I feel very bad about it. Especially when some people offer to pay me to update it and then inspire me by writing a super newsy, fabulous post. Oh, the pressure.

And finally, you should know that it's Sunday night. My most favorite time of the week. Because I realize that I will soon return to the ordered routine of Monday through Friday. I can throw a few loads into the laundry and get ready for clean-up-Monday.

I love clean-up-Monday.

A Slow Trickle of Inspiration

2011-04-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

Since I started selling purses and stories on Etsy (Handbag Chronicles--tell all your friends) I've found that actually sewing the purses is not the challenge. Coming up with stories, however, sometimes can be. Often (and when I say often, I mean that it's happened twice since I started selling) I will have a pile of purses to sell, but don't have the original stories to go with them.

And I think that writing a story for every purse--an original story--was probably not the best idea.

However, as I force myself to write, write, write, I've noticed that inspiration is starting to come from everywhere. I've said this before on this blog and I'll say it again. My favorite writing quote is this:

Write every day. It's easier to keep a patient on life support than to resurrect the dead.
- Janet Fitch. (author of White Oleander)

Writing makes writing easier. Because I'm constantly in writing mode now, I'm seeing story ideas everywhere.

For example, yesterday I was in a craft store looking at potential purse fabric when I heard a page on the loud speaker for the owner of a Honda Odyssey. They said my license plate number too, so I went to the front of the store to see what was up. Seems Petco, right next door, was having a pet adoption event in the parking lot. One of the cats had been frightened and run off. To my car. She climbed up the wheel well and hid in the engine under the hood. The cat was rescued after I figured out how to pop the hood. (it's a new car, okay?)

As I was driving off I had this thought: maybe the cat didn't want to be adopted. Maybe someone is breaking up a cat family, or even worse, a cat romantic relationship. Maybe the cat's boyfriend is caged up and potentially going to another home. Maybe this was her attempt at escape and rescue, so they could build a life together?

Then today, at Fred Meyer, I was picking out tomato plants for my garden when a woman chastised me. Yes, she chastised me! "Are you sure it's not going to freeze again?" she asked as she saw me eyeing some plants.

"Well, if they've got them outside here at the store, I figure they'll be safe outside at my house," I said.

"That means nothing. Fred Meyer runs these ads to make money. They don't care if the plants live or die."

Okay.

I grabbed four plants and put them in my cart and as I was walking away heard her mumble, "they'll die if it drops below 50."

Thanks Lady. By the way, did you know that two years ago I grew HUNDREDS of pounds of tomatoes without any problem? Did you know that I'm still eating canned salsa, tomatoes and tomato sauce from that tomato haul? Do you know I've been growing tomatoes for 15 years? Do you?

And then there was today, when Robert asked me what year my dad was born. I'm sorry, but I don't know what year my dad was born. Is that weird? Well, I don't. I know when my dad's birthday is and I know my dad is almost 70, but I don't know the exact year. So sue me.

I knew why he was asking though. A while back, Robert made one of the security questions on my bank account, "what year was your father born?" And every time Robert goes on-line to update our finances, he asks me, "What year was your father born?"

And I say, "I don't know. Why did you make that one of the security questions if you don't know. Why don't you call my dad and ask him?" And then Robert calls my dad.

And we go through this every time. The thing about the security question is they have to be tricky or someone could figure them out. They have to be so tricky that even YOU don't know the answers to them.

So we changed all the security questions today.

Thank goodness.

But I'm now swamped with story ideas. Forcing myself to sit down and start writing has sort of opened up, not a flood gate, but a nice little trickle. It's awesome.

And I know. Duh! I know this. Probably everyone knows this.

But still, writing makes writing easier.

The Jell-o Project: Tropical Congealed Salad

2011-04-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

This one's a shout-out to my Midwest homies. Okay. My one Midwest homie--you know who you are. It's quite similar to Valentine Crunch, which I understand is sometimes requested in lieu of cake at baby showers in places like Minnesota. So listen up, because I might have stumbled upon a perfect wedding cake replacement Jell-o. You never know.

First things first: the name of this salad must be changed. Tropical Congealed Salad is about the least appetizing name for a salad ever. It's like the title of a PhD thesis: dry, boring, unimaginative. A delicious fruity salad should have a more delicious and fruity name. Like Pina Colada Surprise Jell-o, or Hawaiian Delight Jell-o.

Next, I need to point out that the crust is truly amazing. It's an inspired combination of crushed pretzels, coconut, chopped macadamia nuts, butter and sugar. In fact, I could just eat the crust and call it good. It's the best part of the whole thing. But layer two is no also ran. Cream cheese, more sugar and a whole thing of Cool Whip! Delish.

It's the top layer I have issues with. I followed the recipe exactly, because I didn't feel confident enough to make my own changes. Also, I wanted to see what the original recipe tasted like before I began experimenting. Sort of like my control Jell-o. In case you don't want to look up the recipe yourself, the top layer of this Jell-o salad has, along with many tasty and wholesome ingredients, one of which is the questionable but acceptable cheddar cheese . . . a whole cup of mayonnaise.

I struggled with this ingredient, wondering if I should just leave it out or try and replace it with something else. Why, why, why does anyone put mayonnaise in Jell-o salad? Maybe if someone could explain it to me I wouldn't feel so underhanded and evil in using it.

Not to mention, serving it to guests. (Sorry guests, but the truth had to come out sometime. And it was good, wasn't it?)

The Jell-o Project: The Proposal

2011-04-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

Finally, my Jell-o is getting the respect it deserves. The recipe that finally broke through the gelatin ceiling? Orange Gelatin Cups. It's simple, it's easy, and best of all, it has no crushed pineapple.

So, cue Pachelbel's Canon in D while I describe what went down:

Jonah: Mmmm! This is so good! I love this Jell-o. I want to marry this Jell-o!
(Jonah stands up, holding his Jell-o plate in his hands like a pillow with a ring on it. I start humming the wedding march as Jonah step-together-step-together-steps across the kitchen floor.)
Jonah: (turning back to look at me) Are you going to put this on your blog?
Me: Duh.

Isaac loved his special serving of this Jell-o I made without mandarin oranges.

Ethan ate it, but not without including a stunning dramatic portrayal of a kid who's forced to eat his own barf.

Robert ate it, but I'm not requiring him to make Jell-o comments anymore because he lacks the ability to hyperbolize.

And if there is anything I need in a blog post about Jell-o, it's a little hyperbole.

Handbag Chronicles

2011-04-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today I started selling bags and stories on Etsy.

Handbag Chronicles was the name I came up with after lots of thought, some research and even a small focus group.

Opening the store was a challenge, due mostly to my procrastination. I always had one more thing I wanted to do first before starting: buttons to sew on, stories to write, bags to sew. I finally decided to let all that go and just do it.

So. That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

Tell your friends!

"The Best $10 We Ever Spent"

2011-04-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you do things you never thought you would. Because you get desperate and tired. For example, I never thought we would own a minivan. But, as it turns out, a minivan is really is the best car for our family right now. It makes sense to have good tools to do your job and a minivan is a good tool for the job of being a mom to three growing boys.

My dinner bell is another tool.

Robert said last night that it was "the best ten dollars we ever spent." It's loud and clang-y and probably drives the neighbors nuts. But you know what? Like perfect little Pavlovian dogs, my boys come running when they hear this bell. It probably helps that I don't abuse it. But when dinner is on the table and I don't have time to personally walk around the neighborhood, checking at all the possible houses, then the duck pond, the playground and the forest, while the dinner goes into an ice age on the table, I ring the bell.

I ring that bell as hard as I can out the front door, then walk to the back door and do it again. When I first started using the bell, I felt a little stupid. Maybe a little obnoxious and inconsiderate. But now I don't care what the neighbors think. I get the results I want and it helps me do my mom-job more efficiently.

Is it better than yelling from the front porch?

Absolutely. I could never yell that loud.

The Jell-o Project: Oh, What's the Point?

2011-04-12T12:07:00.000-07:00

It's hard to tell that it's spring by looking out the window, but Pastel Gelatin Salad makes it look like spring at the dinner table.

I had no illusions that my family would eat this salad. I made it for me. To cheer me up and make me think of brighter, warmer days ahead. I think it would compliment an Easter dinner perfectly with it's citrus flavor and crushed pineapple. I did not add the nuts to this recipe. I would have enjoyed them but the perfectly good walnuts would have been wasted on the rest of the Jell-o Luddites. I did, however, shudder and add the mayonnaise. Just to keep the recipe authentic.

So, how did the family react? Jonah ate the whole thing and said he liked the marshmallow topping the best. Ethan ate two bites and refused to eat anymore. Isaac ate one bite and didn't like it. Robert said he thought it would bother his stomach, which was feeling a little sensitive, and better not have any.

I enjoyed it.

I am starting to think that my family just needs a Jell-o paradigm shift. I don't think they understand what the Jell-o salad experience is supposed to be.

I'm not giving up.

Science Birthday Party

2011-04-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

We finally had Isaac's friend birthday party. Only three weeks after his actual birthday. Birthday parties kind of stress me out and so I tend to put them off. But after seeing all the pictures of the science birthday party on Angela Taylor's blog, I found all the inspiration I needed to get off my butt and get it done.

Here's the cake I made. It's a volcano, in case you can't tell. I used a Pampered Chef Batter Bowl to make the top (one whole cake mix) and two 8 inch rounds for the base. I froze the layers so they'd be easier to work with, then stacked them up with frosting in between and shaved off the sides. Here are the instructions for getting the volcano cake to erupt. My reservoir was not deep enough, so we only got minimal smoke and no lava overflow.

Check out these goody bags! I got the idea to use rubber gloves on YouTube. I filled them with Pop Rocks, a glow stick, Smarties, a film canister and 4 Alka Seltzer tablets (both of which can be used for a rocket blast experiment). I also included goggles since all the kids would need them for our different experiments.

After the kids arrived and played basketball for about ten minutes, they came inside to decorate "lab coats," which were really t-shirts. I had Sharpie markers for them to use and placed a paper grocery sack inside the shirt so the colors wouldn't bleed through. (Thank you Mrs. Bell for the suggestion!)

Next the kids made structures using toothpicks, cheese balls and gum drops. The goal was to see who could make the tallest structure. Ethan, who was our resident scientist, went for economy in his design and quickly had his structure towering above the rest.

Isaac went for a more traditional model, but found it unstable. It was fun to see the different designs the kids came up with.

The kids really had fun making their structures and probably could have spent more than 20 minutes working on them. Several didn't even want to move on to the next activity: The Popcorn Volcano. This is where we donned the goggles and I begged the kids not to look directly into the popcorn popper. I had imagined they'd all stay back and catch the popcorn as it blew out. But they had a different collection method.

We then moved outside to the rocket launch demonstration. Using a film canister (which you can get for free just by asking at any photo counter) a teaspoon of water and half an Alka Seltzer tablet, Ethan demonstrated how gas can build up pressure and exert a force. He went into acids and bases and talked about how antacid tablets can neutralize the acid in your tummy.

I don't know where it all came from. He was a regular scientist and the kids ate it up.

He was good to make sure everyone was standing far away and set up the rocket. Then he had the kids count down from ten, slowly. And wouldn't you know it, when the count got to zero, that thing exploded about 20 feet into the air. It was magic. The kid's eyes were saucers. Ethan was a thirteen-year-old science god.

He did the demonstration a few more times and explained that they could do this at home with their parents permission and supervision. And always wear your safety goggles.

Then it was back inside the house to make polymers. Or, as the kids know it, Flubber. Again, Ethan was on with his explanations of the molecules strands and how flubber can act like a liquid AND a solid. He had the kids eating out of his hand. (Actually, one kid did admit to eating a bit of flubber. I reminded him that white glue IS the main ingredient and that he should probably not eat any more.)

I'm disappointed these pictures are blurry, but could not pass up showing them. The kids had a great time with the flubber. I bagged it up and sent each kid home with a big hunk. I'm sure their parents are so happy.

Achoo!

Here's the cake as it started smoking with the dry ice. It's not a great shot, but I do love the look of anticipation on the kids faces. So sorry the cake disappointed them. But it tasted great. I also made a great punch recipe that the kids couldn't get enough of. I made up a dry ice smoky punch bowl for the punch and it was exciting, but kind of a lot of work.

Best of all, today was a lovely, warm and sunny day. The first since sometime in February according to our weather guy. It would have been so disappointing if the kids had to play basketball and watch the rocket launch in the rain.

Jonah said he wished he'd had a good birthday party like this one. He said his wasn't very good and feels he got the short end of the stick. "You had Ethan do a magic show at your party," I reminded him.

"I didn't want him to do magic at my party," he said.

Whatever.

A Generalization

2011-04-06T07:29:00.000-07:00

I once heard the statement that men are like butcher knives and women are like Swiss Army knives.

A butcher knife is big and sharp. It's an effective tool and is good at doing one thing very well: chopping big hunks of meat.

A Swiss Army knife has lots of small knives in various sizes for different jobs. You could probably hack through a big hunk of meat with a Swiss Army knife, but it's going to take you a little more time. However, not only can you hack away at meat, you can also open a corked beverage, saw through small branches, file your nails, remove bottle caps, tighten screws, poke holes through leather, cut paper or fabric, tweeze splinters and pick food out of your teeth. And a lot more, I'm sure.

A Swiss Army knife isn't the most effective tool for a single job. It's the most effective tool for multiple, simultaneous jobs.

While I was away in St. George, visiting my parents, Robert was at home, being a butcher knife. He was very effective at one task. And it wasn't cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, taking out garbage or doing laundry. It was buying a car. He did a great job buying a car. (2008 Honda Odyssey)

And so today, I will be a Swiss Army knife.

And not just any Swiss Army knife. I'll be this Swiss Army knife.

Somewhere in my mind I can hear Ty Pennington saying, "Welcome home Afton. Welcome Home."

Souvenirs

2011-04-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

My time in the desert is coming to an end. It's been six relaxing days of reading, sitting in the sun, eating out and not having any responsibilities. And sun. Did I mention there was sun? Six days of sun and blue skies and warm temperatures. I soaked it all in. Every minute.

And I hope I soaked up enough sun and enough relaxation to last for a while.

I have missed my family, a little. I will be excited to see them all tomorrow. At their request I got each a little souvenir. Isaac and Jonah have arrowheads and an old coin (1901 and 1903 Indian Head pennies). I got Ethan a dirt shirt made with authentic St. George red dirt. I'm guessing the dirt will transfer to all my other clothes in the wash.

And for me?

I am bringing home a lovely knee-high sunburn on the front of my legs. Not that anyone will see it. I hear it's rainy and cold in Portland and probably will be for the next three months. I'll probably be wearing long pants until the sunburn has faded back to a pasty white. But I'll know it's there. And it will remind me of a great six days.

Vitamin D

2011-04-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

Here is what I did today.

Went for a run. I don't know how many miles it was, but it was about 45 minutes. And part of it was speed walking. But at nearly 3000 feet above sea level, my lungs were burning by the time I staggered up my parents driveway. It felt great.

Sat in the sun. It was about 9:30 am and the sun was so warm and the breeze was so gentle and I honestly didn't think I would ever be able to get up. I listened as lizards scampered across the sand and as quail chirped, standing watch over there bevies. I heard the wings of birds flapping as they flew over head and saw an occasional jack rabbit. I got a little sun burn.

Sat in the house. I read for a while. But after sitting outside in the sun, the house seemed cold. So I snuggled under a blanket.

Sat in the sun some more.

Ate lunch at Cafe Rio. Had the pork barbacoa salad and loved every bite. Spotted several polygamist women getting take out. Cafe Rio is that good.

Got a Chocolate Blast from Baskin Robbins. The default recipe doesn't include coffee here in Utah. Which was nice.

Came home, read, kind of fell asleep, woke up, read some more, checked e-mail and decided to write a little.

I'm back outside now, watching as the setting sun creates dramatic shadows on the red cliffs behind my parents home. The air smells great and it's quiet. Except for the seed packing machine running full tilt in my parent's garage.

I feel like I'm at a spa. A spa that makes custom seed packets.

Ice Cream Power Struggle

2011-03-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

Ethan and I have reached a developmental milestone.

The you are old enough to scoop your own ice cream milestone.

This milestone is proving to be more difficult to climb over than other developmental milestones. Ethan still wants me to scoop his ice cream and I'm tired of acting like the waitress. I'm not a waitress. Thirteen is old enough to scoop your own ice cream.

To encourage Ethan's self reliance in this area, I've always given him a small amount of ice cream with the thought that one day he might look forward to loading up his own bowl. But this does not seem to be the case.

Here is what the ice cream exchange usually sounds like:

Ethan: Mom, can I have some ice cream?
Me: Sure. Help yourself.
Ethan: (does not scoop ice cream. busies himself for a few minutes) Mom, can I have some ice cream?
Me: Sure. Help yourself. The scoop is right here on the counter.
Ethan: (nothing. after a few minutes. . .) Mom, can I have some ice cream?
Me: The ice cream is sitting out on the counter. The bowls are in the cupboard.

3 hours later . . .

Ethan: Mom, you never got me any ice cream. You said I could have some. I want some ice cream.
Me: Why don't we try this again tomorrow night.

And so the struggle continues.

Tune in next time for the latest in the ice cream scooping saga.

Locked Out. Again.

2011-03-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

There is so much to do today. Spring break left the house in pig sty condition which will need to be remedied before school gets out at 3pm. I'm preparing to leave on a trip and have a long list of things to do before I go. And the door from the house to the garage is once again jammed. I should have the locksmith on speed dial. And this was the thought that woke up up around 5 am and wouldn't let me go back to sleep.

I went over and over the conversation I would have with the dispatcher this morning the minute they opened shop. I would be kind, yet firm. I've worked in customer service before and I know what goes on as soon as you hang up the phone with a raving lunatic. I'm not going to be a raving lunatic. Although having to replace a latch 3 times in the last 4 years is making me a little crazy. Especially when one latch is supposed to last 5 years.

We had to make the first replacement about 3 years ago. The second was one year ago. The third was 5 days ago. It went bad after 2 days, but it was the weekend, so I had to wait until this morning to get help.

I will mention to the dispatcher that while waiting all day for a locksmith who arrived 2 hours after the promised time-window was not a problem last week, it will most definitely be a problem today.

And I'm not a locksmith, but I'm just guessing that maybe the latch is not the problem. Maybe there is another problem that is causing these multiple latches to fail in much less than the average 5 years. Maybe they can fix THAT problem instead.

And finally, I will mention that I don't expect to pay for this visit. And if they can't fix my door, then refund my money and I'll call someone else.

Girl Books

2011-03-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

Are you looking for the perfect book for your daughter, niece or other middle grade to young adult girl in your life? Here are a few of my favorites that you might enjoy too. Rather than writing out detailed descriptions, I've got links to the book on Amazon so you can read the description there.

Juvenile FictionDark Life by Kat Falls - science fiction, but nothing to be afraid of. It's basically a pioneer story, but the frontier is on the bottom of the ocean in the future when water covers the planet.

I, Coriander by Sally Gardner - Similar to a cinderella story, an orphan girl is raised by an awful stepmother.

The Faeries of Dreamdark by Laini Taylor (Blackbringer and Silksinger)

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin - Chinese fables that are woven together to create a lovely story.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones - Fantasy

When you Reach Me by Rebecca Stead - This won the Newbery last year and is wonderful.

The Airborn Trilogy by Kenneth Oppel (Airborn, Skybreaker and Starclimber) Fantasy/alternate history

Bat 6 by Virginia Euwer Wolff - Local Historical Fiction of a girls softball team after WWII.

Young Adult
The Fiddler's Gun by AS Peterson - Historical Fiction (Revolutionary War) Adventure

Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly - Historical Fiction, French Revolution An awesome book, well written, but just a heads up that some of the themes may be a little heavy. Definitely for the more mature teen.

The Seven Realms books by Cinda Williams Chima (The Demon King and Exiled Queen) Super great! Fantasy, adventure

The Braid by Helen Frost - a book in verse, so if you have someone who might not be thrilled to read, this is a quick one. Well done. Tells the story with a beautiful economy of words. I guess you could call it historical fiction.

Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier a retelling of the 12 Dancing Girls and the Frog Prince. One of my favorites.

Cybele's Secret by Juliet Marillier, a companion book to Wildwood dancing. Follows one of the sisters on an adventure to Turkey. LOVED IT!

The Hollow Kingdom Trilogy by Clare Dunkle - really loved this series

Any Shannon Hale book, but especially Goose Girl.

Kiki Strike by Kirsten Miller - Kick-butt Girl Scouts with some skills solve the mystery of an underground city in NY. Great characters.

Hattie Big Sky by Kirby Larson, an orphan girl inherits a Montana homestead prior to WWI. She has a year to improve upon the land and it's hers for the keeping.

Dairy Queen by Catherin Murdock Gilbert, the main character is a great girl who isn't afraid to be herself.